How can i

[Ilikechicken]

I think since leaving my ex almost a couple of years ago and being dragged through needless court days I am still feeling as drained as I left. I’m not happy and constantly tired and mostly anxious, although I get moments of feeling less stressed I never feel moments of happiness or relief. I can get lots of sleep but I always wake up feeling like I’ve barely slept at all.

Can anyone give me any advice I am sick and tired of the constant exhaustion and dont know how to reattach to any pleasant feelings.

[Same-again]

Sounds like PTSD to me. Totally.

I would recommend reading ‘your body keeps the score’. Tough read as lots of medical terms but jeez, light-bulb moment.

It was somebody on here who mentioned it – sorry can’t remember who.. 🙁

My memory isn’t what it was.

[Eggshells]

I think my first piece of advice would be to talk to your GP. They may want to do some tests to check there is nothing physically wrong. You’ve been through a heck of a lot. Trauma, depression, anxiety stress can all cause exhaustion and your GP should be able to help.

You’ve been through and are still running an emotional super marathon. Try to be kind to yourself.

Have you ever tried mindful meditation. There’s an excellent free app called Insight timer. It won’t cure you but some people find it helps.

[Soulsearcher18]

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this.
It definitely is tough and describing it like Eggshells did as an emotional marathon is spot on.
I agree with seeking regular GP support if you haven’t already.
I’d be interested to know what support you have around you, if you were willing to share.

I know for myself, I could not go through it all without lots of support.
The types of support that have helped me to get through it all are local domestic abuse support for court dates, important meetings and for calls in ‘I can’t do this’ moments, IDVA/ISVA support- if DA support is busy and when we could meet for additional off loading support, regular GP support (mainly for medication) but also for reassurance, counselling groups and one-to-one counselling, the counselling group focused on coping strategies like breathing, relaxation, affirmations etc, reading non-fiction and specific DA books, drawing, writing a journal, walking outdoors, meeting with friends, calling on friends and family for support.

I think it can get really overwhelming but in this time it is a bit like I have built a recovery team around me and I am certainly always on the lookout for new things I can try out. I have got better at knowing who to call on for support with different things and I am better at asking for help now. I forgot to mention that things like Women’s Aid freedom/power to change groups are good but obviously they are not running at the moment, hence how I found the forum which has been great to get advice, express how I am feeling and also to see how far I have travelled already.

It is also learning how to put things into perspective as it can all get so big and become all consuming but the important thing to remember is your health and well-being does have to come first. It has to be prioritised and so you have the right and it is important to do things just for you and to step back from it all and make time for things that you enjoy and things that help you to relax. It may help to look at the Motivational things to…(i can never remember end of title) it is I think in positive moments but you will find it under topics too and it is by Braelynn. There are lots of ideas on there of things to try.

I hope the posts on here help you, even if just to remind you to reach out for help if you haven’t done so. I know it is really challenging, I know you can look back and feel frustrated because you feel like you’ve been battling instead of recovering. I am not sure how long you have been on forum but if you spend time looking on here, you may feel differently about how far you have travelled already. You may be surprised by how much you have already learnt and recovered. It definitely sounds like it would be beneficial for you to take some time out from the court stuff though and do some things for you.

Hope to hear how you get on with things.

Soulsearcher

[Ilikechicken]

Thank you for all the advise. I will try ‘keeping the score’ and I have applied for counselling but I missed the date due to another court day from him. I am trying to get out in nature and will try those activities. I feel I definitely need to do something.

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