How do I deal with this?

[tryingtosleep]

I’m not sure how to deal with this….
My ex was sexually abusive towards me – and very coercive.
He’s out and we don’t see him often. But when we do – he keeps asking my youngest child for hugs and to hold her hand. She doesn’t want to – he’s an alcoholic and she’s seen him at his extreme worst – it’s not something that you can forget easily.
It’s not sexual – but it makes me feel really uncomfortable when he keeps hassling her for affection.
He’s very mentally unstable – but this doesn’t give him an excuse to behave like this.
I’ve told her that she doesn’t have to do anything that she doesn’t want to. But he gets really upset when she doesn’t return his affection. How do I deal with this? Obviously I want to protect her – I just don’t know how to deal with him….

[Lisa]

Hi tryingtosleep,

Thank you for sharing with us, it sounds difficult for you and your daughter. You are right, your daughter does not have to do anything she does not feel comfortable with. It is understandable you want to protect your daughter.

You may find these organisations useful to explore how to deal with this- Family Lives: https://www.familylives.org.uk/, Gingerbread: https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/, NSPCC: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/

Keep posting when you can,

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Author]

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