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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Beautifulday 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #111331
     unsureginger 
    Participant

    I’ve finally decided I’m getting out. I just don’t know how to do it. We don’t have kids but we have two cats and I don’t want to give them up, I can’t go to my parents house as they won’t let me go with the cats and they live the other side of the country. I know I won’t be able to afford to live in the rental we have at the moment on my own but I also don’t have any money saved for a deposit. I’m also in so much debt and can’t clear it as it is with two incomes never mind just one. I just feel as if I’m stuck in this house with him because I have no other financial option or option with the cats. Does anyone have any advice?

  • #111335
     iliketea 
    Participant

    Cats – contact local vets ask if there’s an organisation that fosters for people escaping domestic abuse. RSPCA should know too. Or any local cat shelter/home. There are lots around and many catterys were also doing it for free over Lockdown.

    I’ll write more in the morning. Hopefully someone else will hop on and advise. Look for a post I bumped for women new to the forum. Has links to some other interesting threads. You can get lost down a rabbit hole on the forum as there are so many individual posts each day at the moment.

    Sending strength for now. Research, education, and building a support system around you are the first steps. No need to feel overwhelmed, I know it’s easy to, Ive been there believe me, but with planning, and support, you can leave.
    Xx

  • #111338
     Chestnut 
    Participant

    Hi unsureginger
    Is it your parents can’t have them or would rather not? If rather not do they know what has been happening? If not and you feel comfortable it could be worth saying as I am sure they may review this to make sure you are safe. If not do they have a friend who could have the cats for a little bit? Also as said there will likely be some charities if not who could help for a bit. Really understand not wanting to leave them and sure there is a way here.

    • #111342
       unsureginger 
      Participant

      Hi,

      I haven’t asked them because I know they really don’t like cats and I wouldn’t want to put the burden on them to house me and the two cats. Also there isn’t anyone I can leave them with, all of my friends are scattered across the country and all have cats/dogs of their own. Also I’m not sure how a shelter for them would work as if I do move back with my parents it’ll be across the country and I won’t have the money to put them anywhere as I’ll have to quit my job.

  • #111363
     Beautifulday 
    Participant

    Hi @unsureginger
    I’m in exactly the same boat stuck in a house and I have 2 cats I love dearly, but i know of i did move in with my Mother she loves cats too.
    There are people who Foster cats Ive done it myself in the past. You should have a local animal shelter or cats shelter if you give them a call and ask they should be able to help you, I know in my local cat shelter the workers actually take cats home and Foster them, maybe someone could do this for you temporary? Its worth asking as lots of people do it.

    Do you maybe have any friends that would be willing to look after your little fur babies?

    With regards to Refuge if you ever did decide thats a route you want to go down Im sure if they allow animals? Maybe they do? I’m sure there will be ladies here that know more about that.

    Like yourself i feel stucj but believe me if i wS renting with my Husband I would be gone in a shot! I know its easier said than done, the saving grace is at least you do not have a mortgage together or own your home together as it just makes it more complicated. You are defintely not stuck even though it feels like it. Start by calling the animal/cat shelters suss out if they foster cats. Give your local Wa a call It was the best thing I did and they’ll be able to give you advice help you with a plan. If you can start saving money secretly even if its a small amount as it all helps and gives you a boost knowing your putting money aside to go.
    With regards to your debt maybe you could call a debt advice line? They could guide you or give you options? Just to see where you stand?

    You can do this lovely and sending you a big hug, im going through similar myself and its just horrible but we will get there xxxxx

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