- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 5 months ago by
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I don’t know what happens to my mind.
I’m either really stupid or he’s really good.
I honestly thought it could be ok.He moved out with the promise he would take the pets, Find somewhere suitable to have them and the kids a few days a week and get therapy.
So, I was bad and looked at his phone.
He’s spent (detail removed by moderator)…. On?…… a deposit on a flat? NO! ….. food for kids? NO!….. somewhere (detail removed by moderator)! A f*****g (detail removed by moderator)!!!He’s no fixed abode ,He looks like a victim all the time, no where to go, sad, feeling lost and over time I question whether I’m making more of it and whether things could work.
Yet has not secured a home for his kids or animals which he promised me he would.
Nor has he paid for therapy which he also promised me he would.Therapy wise, he said he’d referred somewhere but (detail removed by moderator) as he hasn’t heard.
I sent him details of refuge for perpetrators (which I shouldn’t have as he should have done it himself) , he said he looked at it but it looks like he will have to pay.
I asked whether he would and (I think because he knew I knew about the (detail removed by moderator)) he said yes.
But I doubt he will.He likened buying (detail removed by moderator) to me (detail removed by moderator).
And said me being upset about him not doing the things he’d promised is me not being invested in our relationship.He’s not going to change is he.
Why am I taken advantage of so easily!! And how do I get sucked in by him over and over!!! -
Cos you wanna believe him we’re kind hearted trusting people who wanna give the benefit and they take advantage of that and use it, they’re really manipulative and selfish, everything’s about them and if we point something out that’s not right we are met with anger/victim playing/mirroring or invalidating our feelings and experiences on the subject, a lot of what he said has sounded dodgy and he’s obviously incapable of doing what you thought he would, abusers can be really immature sometimes, you being annoyed with him is about you being annoyed with him for falling seriously short on his promise end of, he’s a serious manipulator (but they all are)💜💕💜
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You seem to be describing him… do you know him lol.
Honestly, so so selfish. Not putting his kids, his wife or pets first. Despite me saying I might have to go to food banks this month because I have no access to money, he still spends that much money!!!
Have you broken away from yours? Do you ever stop being sucked in?-
Yes i am away from all of them (and there were many, family, relationships, frenemies, all gone) yes you do stop being sucked in when you get stronger and your self worth is more than listening to their lies, excuses pity, guilt trips and you remember who you are (cos they try + change us into how they want us to be) you’ll get there, your seeing it + no I don’t know him 😆 but he’s just your standard victim playing manipulator
🧡💛🧡
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Hi again Discombobulated
I promise it’s just chance that I’m replying to another of your threads.
A useful tool is to pay attention only to what they do and not what they say. You have a short list of things he’s promised to do and he’s done none of them.
Not only has he failed to achieve anything he’s turned it all back on you. He’s now the victim. You’re still running around doing all the work. He’s got you feeling bad for spying. You’re worse off financially.
You’re right. He won’t change.
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