How do i leave???

[Ship.of.brides]

My husband is a n********t. My children are scared of him because he criticises their and my every move and shouts at everyone all the time. He controls all the money, we’ve just had a row and he’s cleared our joint savings account. But where to I go? What do I do? We bought a house just (detail removed by Moderator) ago and I cant afford it on my own and there’s no way he will leave.

[Lisa]

Hi Ship.of.brides

Welcome to the forum! I hope you find it a supportive place to be.

I am sorry to hear about your situation. You do have some options including going into a refuge https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/what-is-a-refuge-and-how-can-i-stay-in-one You could also get some legal advice from Rights of Women https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/

You could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Take care and please keep posting,

Lisa

[fizzylem]

Call the NSPCC to get help for your children first, which would also provide you with the evidence you need of the abuse. Together you can work out what needs to happen and a way forwards.

It’s very easy to get overwhelmed, in fact I would go as far to say that feeling overwhelmed occurs for everyone in this type of situation, so start with what needs dealing with first and put the rest aside for now, (like who leaves and the finances), making it stop for your children and getting them the support they need is the priority at present.

Also call the WA helpline for support and guidance – supper helpful. Victim Support is also another good one.

It takes time to gather all the info you need and thus take the informed steps you need to take, one at a time.

However, if there is physical violence you and the children’s safety becomes the priorty.

I would make an appointment to see your GP also and discuss your concerns as they are duty bound to act and will spport you through this and put you in contact with the relevant agencies that can help and support.

Once you access one or some of these services you will see there is help available and that you can not do this alone, that you all need this support and for others to step in and deal with him for you – and that this is ok and needed, the only way forwards x

[Author]

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