24th March 2020 at 11:15 am #99726
I’m worrying were currently in social isolation for another week, dad isnt respecting this and is demanding contact saying I am withholding. He has not been social distancing and has withheld info about him being in contact with someone who was in (detail removed by moderator) recently. I have a household member who is high risk and I deem one of our children as high risk to (has poor hygiene due to special needs). I feel that passing the children back and fourth with someone who has been lying about social distancing could risk the children and other members of the household. I have increased Skype contact but he is threatening court. I am worried that he could get more contact if I keep them home until this pandemic passes or stabilised. If any of us needed medical attention now it would be fatal. Could he get more contact from me withholding during this risky period?
24th March 2020 at 12:08 pm #99727KIP.Participant
The law is based in what is fair and I absolutely believe what your doing is not only fair but is responsible under the circumstances. The courts are in a skeleton staff and I would presume only deal with emergencies so let him make his pathetic threats. He should be putting the welfare of his child first. Don’t be bullied by him x
24th March 2020 at 2:08 pm #99729maddogParticipant
I doubt that a judge would say you are withholding contact while you are ensuring increased remote contact while the virus bears out. If you have evidence that he’s been to(detail removed by moderator), keep it safe somewhere, even if it’s note to yourself. Keep records of all his behaviour. You are very right to be extremely wary. The government hasn’t spoken about domestic abuse. It’s a massive issue. I really don’t believe abusers have the children’s best interests at heart. I know my ex certainly didn’t and only wanted to cause me harm.
You are not withholding contact anyway. You are taking sensible precautions. It may be worth a quick word with your solicitor. CAB or Victim Support may be able to advise as well. Don’t be bullied.
24th March 2020 at 2:40 pm #99732
Yes I agree
Keep your evidence, keep strong in the face of his bullying, not easy, but soubdsnlike you have very good reasons beind your decision, which a normal parent would understand and keep the remote contact up.
Make sure you keep screen shots of the times of the indirect contact via face screen time.
Its very worrying for everyone caught up in this.
24th March 2020 at 3:25 pm #99734LisaMain Moderator
Hi there Ilikechicken, It is understandable that you are feeling concerned about this. It sounds very much as though you are putting the needs of your children first by following the guidance that has been set out due to the pandemic.
As you may already know, it is not uncommon for abusers to use children to continue their abuse and control. Your ex- partner is trying to frighten you. You are not trying to deny him contact, but at this very challenging and uncertain time you are trying to protect your children and this shouldn’t go against you in the future. As some of the others have already said he is not putting the welfare of the children first.
24th March 2020 at 3:39 pm #99738
Thank you all for the advice.
(detail removed by moderator)
My concern is I dont have any proof he is saying stuff onnskype and others have phoned to tell me he was out pubs the night they shut. I also have no evidence about his parents. I just feel that at times like this I cant protect the kids or myself from a scary virus because his rights out way all of ours. My concern is the courts may give him more custody because technically I have breached.
24th March 2020 at 5:18 pm #99747
Witnesses statements are evidence. Ask all whether they are happy to provide statements to this effect.
24th March 2020 at 5:19 pm #99748
To back up what they’ve evidenced and to support your claims I mean.
28th March 2020 at 10:28 am #99949
I am not sure she will want to give me a statement as she is in a similar situation to me. He is already setting up to isolate them for 14 days but they only really have an overnight a fortnight so this would be very confusing for them. Has anyone had any legal advice around this situation.
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