How do I stay strong so I dont return back to captivity again?

[Hot Chocolate]

I have recently left a (detail removed by Moderator) abusive relationship and finding it tough not to return back to them.I feel like I have become addicted to the control they had, freedom to be myself is so alien and scary.The pain and hurt I feel through losing everything including friends family home.There was no part of my life that has not been damaged, I know not who I am anymore.I work and support groups are during day so I find I have no one to relate to.Just going shopping is scary, sounds stupid.One day I hope to see the rainbows through this storm.

[Anonymous]

hi hot chocolate

i know how you are feeling i gave my home and job up he left me in financial mess also , but i have my life and my pet we will get through this hun , dont go back you are free you will become stronger like me takes time

[Hot Chocolate]

Thank you I’ve been left in a bad way financially but at least I have the control to sort things out.Its hard to not go back its a crazy addiction.I amy slowly making friends again. Each hour feels like a marathon.

[Peaceful Pig]

Hi hot chocolate, it’s not stupid we get so conditioned. I still struggle to shop or dress sometimes even though I left my abuser a long time ago now. It can feel so daunting to suddenly be free when they have made us dependant on them. I couldn’t go to support groups either due to work but I did get dv counselling which helped a lot. I relied on this forum a lot. There is so much loss to grieve but freedom is worth it. I try to savour the little freedoms every day x*x

[Hot Chocolate]

Thank you both for your posts.It’s true, I need to celebrake the small steps, whiche to others seems normal life.Maybe I should look into a dv counsellor, don’t know where or how to find one.It so so weird at the moment, but years can’t be healed in a matter of weeks.It’s the lonest I’ve managed without going back to him.He already has someone else in his life, but says it’s not a relationship. My gut feeling says that’s not true and that they’re an item. How do they move on so quick yet my life is in Pieces! I need to start trusting my instincts and believe in myself again.my confidence and self esteem are at an all time low.I struggle through each day.

[Peaceful Pig]

I had counselling through my local WA outreach service. Also reading up on the effects of abuse and trauma is helpful. Abusers often move onto new partners quickly, they can’t cope on their own. It says a lot about how upset they really are doesn’t it. It’s very hurtful. Your self esteem will gradually rebuild with space and time away from him x*x

[Hot Chocolate]

Ive attended my local church today,still feel overwhelmed by life.Small steps at a time,so much to sorry out as life such a mess.Its good to know this forym exists as so few people understand the depth of pain hurt and how every part of my life is in turmoil.

[Author]

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