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    • #120027
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi I’m struggling again ,had a few positive days but a judgemental glance at me in the street by one of his friends has set me back.Since I reported the abuse he has done a local smear campaign on me telling everyone possible I am the abuser amongst other things like I’m having affairs etc.Obviously to gain support and sympathy and to cause me harm.I believe it is so I am forced out of the house so he can move back in.How do I cope with this ? I have had many years of experience in the home ignoring this but when outsiders are becoming involved it scary as some could get nasty.Advice I have been given is ignore as the truth will come out soon but will it ? Mud sticks and when its all dealt with he will just respond by saying they sided with the woman ! Its been an awful experience for me since reporting the abuse and at times wished I never bothered . I know its a last attempt to scare and harm me by using others and also to hide his behaviour but could have long term affects on my job and reputation .Has anyone else dealt with this type of smear campaign ?

    • #120028
      maddog
      Participant

      Remember that his ‘friends’ are only tools to him. They’re his flying monkeys. Abusers are pathological liars. Please speak to Women’s Aid or Victim Support. Smear campaigns are part of the abuse. Keep all records of what happens. It’s not about men and women. It’s about abuse. There should be a Domestic Abuse team on 101. When you get through, just ask for them and they’ll be able to guide you. Abusers believe in their false selves. So often it’s all they’ve got. The reality is that you’re dealing with a badly damaged little boy in an adult body. He’s probably been behaving this way since nursery school.

      There’s been a lot in the news recently about workplaces recognising domestic abuse and how they can help. You are so not alone.

    • #120033
      KIP.
      Participant

      Please report anyone who intimidates you or threatens you to the police. When they get a visit for intimidating a witness maybe they will realise who the real victim is. Many of these so called friends will get dragged into something they don’t want to by his lies and manipulation. In my case my ex nearly lost his friend his job by involving him. Just remember that you know the truth. You lived it and these people too will have to take a step back or they will lose out even more. It’s a slow process but the lies do come out in the end. Meantime build that support network round you x

    • #120048
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Thanks everyone, its very frustrating to not scream its all lies but keeping calm and putting on a front out and about that everythings fine as know he’s probably got his flying monkeys spying on me reporting back hoping I’m a struggling mess .

    • #120066
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      Hi tinkerbell, you know the truth of this, sadly not all flying monkeys realise they’re being manipulated either. Keep a record of who, where and if any witnesses. Definitely report as most won’t want to be seen to be breaking the law as KIP said.
      If you’re able to keep the house, don’t let him push you out. But be prepared for it to turn really nasty.
      Where money and how they are seen by others is in the line, they’ll lie through their teeth, even try to trap you into responding violently to them.
      Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

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