How do you manage the anxiety?

[dancingdaisy]

Just that really. General overwhelming anxiety, not always logical but so hard to talk yourself out of. i was doing better but currenntly very very anxious that my ex is going to destroy me in some way, tear my life apart with solicitors, make us homeless, take my child etc. He was abusive to us both, there’s good reason he should not come anywhere near either of us. Police involved so I can’t give details but am hanging on by a thread with this anxiety. Am already medicated, what else might help? My heart is racing, stomach churning, feeling dizzy – it’s awful. i don’t even know how to do self care because it’s been so long I’ve been controlled by him.

[KIP.]

I found mindfulness really useful. It grounds you in the moment. There are lots of different exercises but looking back can be depressing and thinking ahead will cause anxiety so ground yourself in the here and now. Have you had counselling? Adult colouring books can be good too. Only deal with what is presented by him, I wasted so much time worrying about what he might do. He’s not the all powerful man you think he is. He’s up against the police and courts now, not just you. Throw everything you can at him, he will be too busy dealing with the law. Gather a support network. Check which medication you’re on and why. I’ve recently discovered Propranolol. It’s what is often give to people who become nervous before public speaking so it stops the physical signs of anxiety in their tracks.

[dancingdaisy]

Thanks Kip. That’s the one I’m on but I can’t say it never mind spell it lol
Yeah am having counselling but my head is a mess trying to deal with everything that’s happened and my anxiety is definitly over what he’s going to do to get revenge, or maybe everyone will believe him and I’ll go to prison for something he manages to make people think was my fault. Really does feel like he’s all powerful you said that just right, I worry he can see this, or see messages on my phone or something, even though we have split up and he can’t see anything I still worry he can.

I’ve not seen any of my support network for a bit, it’s like it was all there to start with and everyione thinks I’m ok now but I’m not I’m really struggling. Crying and panicking every day. Belive it or not I am way happier without him despite this!! It feels great not to be abused every day and to know my child is safe and not afraid 🙂 Just can’t get rid of this awful anixety

[Lisa]

Dear dancingdaisy,

Thanks for posting, I’m sure many other forum users will identify with feelings of anxiety that can be overwhelming.
Hopefully more will share their tips of what can help. It’s about finding what might work for you.

I just wanted to mention the MIND website, they have a thorough page about Anxiety and Panic attacks which explains anxiety and has several tips to help to cope with it.

Also the No Panic website offers some really good support.

Keep Posting,

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Hi dancingdaisy

I am sorry for your situation it is a truly awful place to be, and anyone that has been through this will completely understanding your feelings right now.

(Detail removed by moderator) can be terrifying for many, and for many good reasons, and many can’t do this. You have to do what you can manage, and don’t ever push yourself beyond what you can cope with, or have the help with to support you through. There’s good reason many don’t report abuse/rape, etc. Its for self-protection.

Whatever the reason, (detail removed by moderator) Its important that you ground your worries, by asking the questions you need answers to, so you can be fully informed and aware of whats happening and what you may be facing so you can allay any unnecessary fears. The less you know the more scarey, as you can’t make good decisions without the answers you need.

The safer you are the safer you feel, and the less anxious you will be. It may be really helpful to have some form of counselling support (detail removed by moderator), just so you can offload, without opening up the trauma, but finding ways of managing as you go through the procedure itself.

I feel for you I really do, you’ve lived with this abuser and know the potential, it would be super weird if you didn’t feel highly anxious. Its not made up, its based on your lived experiences, and your mind trying to protect you, and rightly so.

Only ever do what you can manage, and no more, you have already been through so very much.

thinking of you x

warmest wishes

ts

[Twisted Sister]

…also, its imperative you find some super positive things that will give your mind and body a chance to escape from the stress completely, so you can maintain some balance through this intense time.

for this you will need to think of things that you get totally absorbed in. For some its swimming, or walking, running, cycling, better if its physical because physical exercise of some sort will help with the physical effects of stress and combat the stress hormones. It could be certain workout online personality that you can work out to each day. On the less physical, maybe reading, listening to podcasts, something to do with crafts doing something with your hands, cooking yourself some lovely tempting meals, whatever works for you, relaxing in a hot bath. Noone can know what activities you find absorbing but getting absorbed in other things is vital so your life doesn’t feel all negative.

Look after you, and prioritise you and your needs to keep strong

[KIP.]

You won’t always feel this way. Google the amygdala.

[Mellow]

Have you eaten today?

[dancingdaisy]

Thank you everyone. Yes I’ve eaten, food is rubbish at the moment as money is short, I’ve been too anxious to work much so it’s all cheap carbs, heating off too which is a bit miserable. I make sure my kid is fed well and warm though. The best way I can describe it is like being constantly seconds away from either screaming or crying. It’s an awful feeling of life about to come crashing down.

Lisa I’ll look at those websites thank you. KIP will do thanks.

TS thanks, he has huge potential for abuse and for making people believe him. He has already made other people hassle me which is adding to my upset. He’s doing DARVO and people are believing him. I’m terrified the authorities will believbe him too. I spoke to my ISVA yesterday and she said the same as you about my mind reacting to past trauma and it being normal. If I try to look at it more closely I get tangled in deeper knots of panic 🙁

[Author]

Posts