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I left him. He is an alcoholic and has been dry for a week. Today he told me I either need to move back in or divorce him as hes devoted years to me, hes been sober a week and I am nasty for not saying I love you at the end of the call. He first of all told me he had only slapped me once ( I corrected him) then when I mentioned about the much worse incident he said it was a joke. I was so angry he was minimising it. It definitely wasnt a joke. I have nightmares every night about that event. I have flashbacks. I still feel sick. I feel hes not admitting to any of his faults but turning it around because I left him. Will I ever get over the frustration?
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With absolutely zero contact. He will never admit he’s an abuser. That’s what abusers do. Deny and always pass the blame. There’s no point in trying to get him to see things from your point of view. He simply doesn’t care. He will threaten, bully, guilt trip and make up delusional nonsense. Nothing is off limits and it all crazy making behaviour. Don’t waste your breath. He has no empathy, will gaslight and lie and not skip a beat. He’s not worked like you and I, he doesn’t think like you or I. Have you read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven or done the Freedom Programme? Please contact your local women’s aid for support. He won’t change and abuse always gets worse. Typical abuser to threaten divorce. I’d say yes please but be aware he won’t give you what you want, he wants to be in control x
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