How To Cope When All You Want To Do Is Contact Them (detail removed by moderator)?

[Random.]

How do you cope with the feeling that the only person that can understand fully about all this is the one person who did it to you in the first place.
I’m starting to feel depressed, like I want to (detail removed by moderator)
Everything feels so numb & I just feel I’m so detatched from everything going on around me.
I’m trying to get out & be around people and enjoy things but all I think is I JUST WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM!
Why do we think like this & does it ever truly stop?

 

[Happydaysagain]

I don’t know any of the answers but just wanted to let your know that I understand how you feel because I’m in exactly the same position.

We somehow just need to stay strong

X*x

[Random.]

You’re so right and we do need to stay strong, it just feels very difficult when you feel so broken at times. It is good to understand that others are in the same position & feeling/thinking the same way so we are not alone in all this.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through, it all feels very saddening & torturous, it’s so easy to let your mind get bogged down by it all but do stay strong!!
X

[Escapee]

Hi Random,

It’s frustrating and so unfair isn’t it.

Please reach out to a professional about the depression. It can consume you and put you in a terrible place. At one point I was so disconnected from who I am I couldn’t even feel love for my children.

From talking to other women, some of us have stayed strong and kept no contact, whilst others have allowed themselves to dip in and out.

He’ll never really understand what he has done to you. I don’t think any of them do. Maybe with years of reflection it might happen but I’m certainly not holding my breath. Mine shook me to the core when he told me I had been cruel to him…..I knew then to just shut up as I was just hurting myself more by trying to get validation from someone who could never do that.

I’ve been on my own for a while now but I’m still not over my ex. Each time I faulter, I realise that it can never be. He will never change and I’m too exhausted and wrecked to be able to play his games any more.

Whether you push through the pain of no contact or go through the tortuous process of the slow disentanglement is only something you can decide. Which ever way you choose no one here will judge you as we all understand how complicated and painful the healing process is.

Have you read Healing from hidden abuse? It’s well worth a read (and several more reads) to help you understand.

My love and strength to you xx

[Author]

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