How to deal with child contact

[Stressedandalone]

Can anybody tell me any ways on how to deal with the emotions that come with child contact. My solicitor has been in touch to say he’s made contact about seeing our child. She is still so young and his girlfriend is so horrible. There are a lot of safe guarding issues around them but they have made up a lot of lies about me to say they are concerned about our child with me. I’m so upset, I don’t want to loose her. I want to keep her safe

[iliketea]

Hi, can you speak to your solicitor and ask about having a third party present if there are safe-guarding concerns, perhaps in a contact centre? I don’t know all the details of your situation or whether you have a Child Arrangements Order in place, this might be the next steps to consider if you haven’t. Look up Rights of Women and they have some good information on there for all the different child protection orders available to you through the Family Court. Have you had Cafcass involved to do an assessment, that might be a next step too. Tell your solicitor your concerns and they should be able to come up with a sensible direction. Alternatively, as I know they suck you dry solicitors, try and speak to Rights of Women, or your local branch of CAB should be able to help too.
To deal with the emotions – there’s a good book called “Why Dad Hurts Mom” and in there it talks about this side of things. It is hard, Im not denying it, the law in this country think that it is preferable a child sees both parents so you have to be very careful to always be acting in the best interests of your child, I know that is so hard, I get it, totally, so make sure you keep them safe as much as you can but playing the game too – the system is far from perfect. Record everything, write it down, take copies of all emails, text messages any communication between you and your ex and his girlfriend that could in any way exemplify your concerns. If you are your childs main carer, there is no reason you will lose your child, even if you have shared care, there is no reason. Keep the truth in your head, dont be bullied and reach out for as much support locally as you can, GP, domestic abuse support agency, school, nursery, anywhere where there are professionals, Child Centre, Health worker, NSPCC has some good information on Parental Alienation. As Long as you keep your childs interests at the centre of everything you do and say you will be fine. Keep posting and asking, everyone is really supportive here. Its tough, but you’ll get through this. Tomorrow is around the corner. Stay strong. xx

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