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    • #137567
      Sunflowersunshine
      Participant

      My new partner forgot to tell me about a work function and when he did I was confused what he was referring to. He apologised and said he’d be more mindful and intentional in the future. I was a little triggered cause this is what my ex did without the genuine apology.

      The big thing was though he apologised. And I couldn’t get it out of my head that I need to fix it and make it better and apologise. My dear sweet partner had to take an hour to explain to me that I didn’t need to fix it. I had nothing to apologise for. I still don’t get it. I feel like I was in the wrong for raising an issue and the fact that he apologised is devastating. I don’t know how to make it better.

      Any thoughts?

    • #137578
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Hi Sunflowersunshine

      From reading what you’ve said it doesn’t seem like anything needs fixing? He made a genuine mistake by not letting you know that he had made a social plan, and in making reference to it when you didn’t know aobut it caused confusion, no biggey there, and as soon as he realised you hadn’t known about the social plan he’s reacted by apologising for forgetting to mention it. All done, nothing more to be done about it is there?

      Time to let this one go, you’re just not yet used to life being simple and unthreatening is how is comes across to me. Relax, all is fine. Its simple enouhg isn’t it, to just apologise and move on.

      Its worth talking it through though, to work through the trauma you’ve experienced

      warmest wishes

      ts

    • #137580
      Teaandcats
      Participant

      As Twisted Sister said, nothing here to make better hun. Your new partner made a genuine mistake and has spent time supporting you to manage all of the things that came up for you.
      If this a loving, supportive relationship, which from what you’ve said it is, there’s no ‘fixing’ to be done… It sounds like your abuser’s past has got stuck in your head, leaving you thinking you’ve done something wrong and need to feel guilty? You’ve done nothing wrong. Deep breaths x*x

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