How to leave

[Helptoleave]

Hi just wondering if there is anyone out there thay has been in my sitution.

I have a parter and we have 3 children. I keep asking him to leave as I dont want to be together because of him previously cheating but constatly accusing me of stuff. I have never done anything. He goes through my messages with friends and gets really nasty over small things.

We live together but the teneancy is in my name.

I dont want things to get nasty for the kids but everytime i ask him to leave he just gets nasty, he hasnt physically hurt me, its all mental abuse so i not sure how id go about getting help?

I need out but dont want to leave my home, its my kids home, near there school and family. Plus i know he would just follow me anyway, hes obsessed with me and the idea of me having a life without him drives him crazy.

What should me next step be to get him to leave?

Also to add, he just continues act everything is normal after and i fall in to it as I dont want to upset the kids, any advice appriciated.

I just want to do whats best my my kids but dont want to take their dad away as he is a good dad

[Lisa]

Hi Helptoleave,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Domestic abuse is not just physcial- its all about power and control. You have described someone who accuses you, goes through your messages and wants you to feel trapped. Its understandable you are worried about the impact on your children- it is not a good environment for them either- he can still be a dad to them without living with you. He is teaching them all the wrong things about relationships.

If the tenancy is in your name only- he shouldn’t have any legal rights to that property. you should have a right to change the locks or police can remove him. If you need more detailed advice around housing rights you may want to contact Shelter– they can offer free and confidential housing information, support and legal advice on all housing and homelessness issues. They have a live chat service, and an emergency helpline available on 0808 800 44 44.

You could also contact your local domestic abuse service for more ongoing support, they can help you with a safe plan to leave this relationship.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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