30th June 2021 at 3:29 pm #128010
Does anyone have a partner who deliberately hurts himself and then blames them ?
Mine keeps doing this, banging his head on (detail removed by moderator), scratching his own arms etc, last time was the worst he banging his head with a (detail removed by moderator) , it bled profusely, I patched him up, it has now healed.
This usually happens when he cant get his own way, or has started yet another row.
I have totally removed myself(living in my bedroom)he is a true Jekyll and Hyde, full of self pity, despite having hurt me in every way possible !!!!
30th June 2021 at 4:30 pm #128012beachhutParticipant
No you are not alone on this one. Mine used to hit his head against the door until it was red and swollen then tell me I had made him to it, and the best one was throwing himself on the(detail removed by moderator) floor pretending to be unconscious and telling me I had pushed him over. This was all about guilt, if he did not get his own way then he would act out like a child and blame me. I also spent days in my bedroom trying to keep away from him, I left after a genuine incident of him assaulting me and being arrested. It is just their way of trying to control us. They have no shame.
Take care of you, beachhutXx
30th June 2021 at 5:06 pm #128016
Thank you SO much beachhut xx
You are absolutely right, always sulking like a sullen child, yet presents to the rest of the world as charming, its all about guilt and fear !!
I have been living in my room (detail removed by moderator), and apart from feeling lonely, I actually feel safer some how.
You are very brave
Take care xx
9th July 2021 at 6:24 am #128498GazeboParticipant
I just want to say sorry your going through this but a line in your post made me think of my partner was so true – sulking like a sullen child but like a charmer to everyone else – this is so my husband people on the outside have no idea what I’m going through my husband isn’t physical it’s all emotional abuse but as much as I know it’s not right I wish he would hit me as that would then be my way out right now I feel trapped xx
6th July 2021 at 6:07 pm #128341
Yet another row, same old things !!!
My partner continues to hit his head and scratch himself(so he can blame me, and for others attention)he has also started (detail removed by moderator) to the same end !!!
I have NEVER in my life had to deal with anything like this, and cannot fathom why anyone would want to do this ?
I have helped him for decades with major financial troubles, plus family troubles, work pressure etc etc, yet I am NOW to blame for everything that goes wrong.
I just want a quiet life with no hassles, I ask for nothing, just peace.
Has anyone else had to deal with this ?
Its really really terrifying as he is over (detail removed by moderator).
He can switch just like that, and my Daughter and I have had enough !!!!
He is charming and chatty outside the house.
Anybody with any advice ?
Thank you SO much
6th July 2021 at 11:24 pm #128368HelphelphelpParticipant
I too was worried about this, mine came down with huge scratches (detail removed by moderator) and we had had a row, I was so worried he would say I’d done it I asked him how he did it and recorded it so as I had proof. It’s madness what you feel you need to do. X
7th July 2021 at 5:19 am #128370KIP.Participant
This is a very dangerous situation for you and your daughter. Please contact your local women’s aid and talk to your GP. It’s a power and control thing. If I can do this to myself then what I can do to you. Fear invoking. Abusers always blame us and you can bet he will be badmouthing you to anyone that will listen so when his abuse is exposed he has already painted you as the abuser. Seek help and get out of that situation as soon as possible x
7th July 2021 at 8:51 am #128384
Thank you So much for all your replies
I have contacted my local women’s centre, and told my (detail removed by moderator) brother(some of it) he is recently (detail removed by moderator) so its very very hard for him, He knew something massive was wrong, as my personality has changed SO much over the years, less contact with family too.
I am SO SO tired, as I have (detail removed by moderator), and just need to be able to relax.
Thank you for all your help and support
Lots of love x*x
7th July 2021 at 8:05 pm #128424KIP.Participant
Just wanted to say well done for speaking out. I know how scary this can feel but you need to build a support network away from his dysfunction and dangerous behaviour. Don’t tell him you’re reaching out as these men become dangerous when they feel they’re losing control. Take a look at Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. It explains domestic abuse. Keep building that support network and ring the police if you feel threatened. Also keep a secret journal of his behaviour. I used to email myself with the incidents he caused and it was good evidence should you ever need it x
8th July 2021 at 3:57 pm #128472
Thank you KIP x*x
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