I am a victim.

[Shellie]

‘It never happened to her’
‘She made it all up’
‘He’d never do that’
‘Attention seeker’

I’m (detail removed by moderator) and my ex partner was put in prison for (detail removed by moderator), there could have been more charges but everything is on evidence.

It hurts more that no one believes me, I’ve suppressed everything from the bullying and I have no idea how I’m going to cope. I’m just trying to get my qualification at college, but throwing up each morning and carrying this weird feeling round with me is just eating away at me.

And everyone thinks I’m a liar
I was occasionally beaten by my (detail removed by moderator) abuser, left in secluded areas or in my own bedroom.

[Ayanna]

WE BELIEVE YOU!

Every word …
Abusers are masterminds in hiding who they really are. They manipulate the world.

Finish your education. That is a good plan.

If you can get counselling. If your GP is not helpful try the charities, such as Women’s Aid for advice, The Women and Girls Network, The Women’s Trust.

Carry on. You are doing great after what you have been through.
Never ever give up.
Achieve and become a boss.

[iwillbeok]

I believe you, Shellie.

Reach out for help, hon. I know it can be hard – but just keep asking until you are heard. You deserve to be heard and to heal from this. Counselling can be so very helpful when you find the right person; if they’re not a good fit keep trying.

Stay strong and take care of yourself,
xx

[starryeyed]

I believe you too Shellie.

Abusers are charmers, they manipulate everyone around them and pull wool over their eyes. It is all a show, they are incapable of meaningful relationships with anybody – but they are astonishingly good at acting!

People who don’t know much about abuse or who have not been through it themselves do not understand. It is still something that people don’t talk about and people minimise it beyond belief – and that is horrific.

I second going to see your GP, and getting in touch with specialist agencies for counselling. Take care of yourself. You are important <3 x*x

[Serenity]

Hi Shellie,

I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t got in touch with Women’s Aid; if they hadn’t understood my story; if they hadn’t agreed that his behaviours and tactics were typical; if they’ve hadn’t directed me to local help which involved DV counselling, a support group and a Pattern Changing course where we were taught what abuse looks like.

I would have gone under. My ex is such a cunning manipulator- he would have tried to make everyone believe it was my fault, in my head, that he was faultless; but as it was, the support empowered me.

It’s so, so important to get real, live help and support. Believe me, you will have people experienced in this who will say to you that your ex-partner is a cliche abuser. Finding your tribe is so important. We are your tribe too- we understand x

[freedomtochoose]

Hello lovely,
Just wanted to send big hugs. I am aware that you are at college. If you ever need some solidarity or support re assignments or moving forward on this, I am your woman.
Just wanted to offer this.
there is a separate thread someone started for people at college.
I think it is so important we support each other with college and life in general but particularly that as I believe it is a very particular experience when we are in recovery from abuse and we take ourselves back to ‘education’. In inverted commas because of course we all have the university of life.
all best and big hugs
ftc.
x

[Indiamalachite]

<3

[Author]

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