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    • #118281

      Some of you will probably recognise my username I’ve been posting on here on and off for about 2 years maybe longer.
      I am no longer with my daughters dad, it feels amazing to say that. I always used to feel bad or sad when I’ve split with him in the past and I always ended up missing him etc. But honestly it wasn’t like that this time. I felt myself get happier and happier each day and I felt free. Ive had fleeting thoughts of “life is good” which is amazing because for so long I’ve loathed that I was stuck with him. I have been referred for counselling which I’m finding really helpful. I am smiling and slowly starting to let myself enjoy life again, almost like a baby learning to walk-slowly and unsteady at first but definitely always making progress. Unfortunately he is trying to make things difficult as always. He is using contact with our daughter as a way of still abusing me. I want something drawn up formally that these are set times and days he sees her. Does anyone know where I can go to get this please? Am I best off contacting a family solicitor, I don’t even know if that’s something they can do without taking it to court? Does anyone have any experience of this please? I don’t want to stop him seeing her as she enjoys spending time with him but I don’t want to have to deal with his nonsense through our daughter either! Thanks.

    • #118293
      KIP.
      Participant

      Talk to your local women’s aid and be careful around allowing contact at all. Remember she’s enjoying being around a nasty controlling abuser and that will cause her the same problems you’re now in counselling for. A family solicitor can draw up an agreement that if he breaks you could take him to court over. It’s really important you are the resident parent and until this is done he can walk away with your child and not return her as he has as much right to keep her as you do. You would then have to apply to the courts to get her back. Be very careful with your new found happiness. You’re changing but he’s still the same nasty selfish man and kids are collateral damage in this for him.

    • #118295
      Empoweredhealing
      Participant

      I think questions are predominantly what I had after the relationship ended. But the longer you are away from him, the more your mind and heart will clear. One day, you’ll be able think about him and the relationship with calmness and serenity. It’s slog to get to that point but I promise it will happen. And then he can’t get to you no matter what. Hang in there. You have done so well in gaining your freedom!!

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