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    • #125588
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Hi ladys I am in touch with a IRIS Advocate Educator who deal with women and children who suffer from domestic abuse . I really thought they was counsellor but they are not counsellors. I am a bit confused. They are really good giveing me advice and support they have lots of things I’ve talk to them about and everything I am going thought is all written down on my file. I dont now if anyone can help but what I wanted to ask could they make me and my children leave if they feel we are not safe ? I now they said to me they will never judge what I should do or not be doing they are here to help me. I read up someing on google yesterday saying that they can make a decision to remove me and my children from my partner and I dont have a say in it I wanted to now if this is true because sometimes Google dont tell us the right things. I no my partner never going to change liveing with his abusive being aggressive controling threatening behaviour. I cant forget the past elther I’ve been strong for to long and I just feel elther bad if I leave and at the same time I worry what would happen. I feel mix emotions it’s so hard to deal with any situation being in abusive relationship has put me on the edge of breakdowns and I now it has affected my children seeing there dad behaviour which breaks my heart so much .

    • #125704
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Rosemary,

      Great to hear you are being supported and you are finding them helpful. I am pleased they have said they are there to provide a non-judgmental service and they are there to help you. Would you feel comfortable speaking to them about your concerns about them intervening in your plans?

      You are doing the right thing by leaning on support available, it is a lot to deal with on your own.

      Take care and keep posting.

      Lisa

    • #125705
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Hello lisa

      Thank you for reaching out to me it is alot to deal with on my own. I can ask if they would intervene or not . I now they said to me they would not judge me of what I want to do but they are there to surport me and for me to get help and understand what I am going thought. I now the ladys I’ve been talking to they are consern for me and my children . I was not sure if they have a say if they think me and my children should leave .. I googled it and it told me that they could intervene and I have no saying but with google I dont always trust it I will ask the lady I talk to see what she says I just worry about everything lisa I cant help it .

      Thank you lisa for your help and support it means alot to me

    • #125706
      Rosemary
      Participant

      I have just sent a email asking my lady who surports me if she can intervene or not as I just wanted to now what her job roll is because I thought i was talking to counsellors for months but she told me they are not counsellors so I am unsure what there full job roll is .

      Thank you lisa for helping me

    • #125772
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Rosemary,

      Brilliant idea to email them to clarify their job role. I hope it helps you to continue to build a good supporting relationship with them. Keep asking them questions if you are not sure and need further explanation.

      Take care,

      Lisa

    • #125777
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Hello lisa

      Thank you for careing I resived a email back from
      My Advocator she said We are not able to directly intervene in your situation, but we are able to provide you with support in line with your own choices, so for example, if you decided you wanted to leave, we can assist with looking for refuge spaces, or do supporting letters for homeless application.

      That is nice that I would get this help lisa and at the moment I feel I want to leave I got bad shakes because of the abusive my parnter giveing
      Me I got bad tummyake I can’t stop shakeing my hands i feel weak and tired of my partner giveing me abusive and trying to control me I’ve been strong for so long I dont think I can take anymore of his abusive and being aggressive puting me down its horrible I feel sick .just scared to leave it’s a horrible feeling

    • #125787
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Rosemary,

      I am so pleased you have received a reply so quickly and she has reassured you with the support on offer. You are doing brilliantly, lean on the support available. We are all here for you too.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa

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