I am new

[Mollysally]

I am new i found out my partner was an addict god it actually such a replief i can actually right that down he has been abusive mentally smashing things up when he cant get what he want’s he has taken everything from me financial emotional i have hit rock bottom all he cares is what he needs… I have nearly lost my home have sat with no gas elec…. I feel like i have no one and i can’t get out…. Things here are pretty bleak some may say how i couldmt of know but believe me i had no idea i just dont know where to turn

[MsTaken]

Hi you’ve done the right thing adding yourself to this forum. I know you feel alone, alot of us on here are feeling the same. Everybody can be really helpful you just need to ask and we’ll try and guide you through. Firstly none of this is your fault. You have been forced into the situation your in now. It will take time to get through this but you’ve made your first step so that’s a start. If you can try to ring woman’s aid to speak to someone. People don’t always get through first time so just keep trying. Don’t tell him your doing any of this because it will upset him further. You might feel like you have nothing now but there is a future for you where you will have your own stuff and be dependent on yourself. Just stay with us and keep posting. We’ll help as much as we can X

[Mollysally]

Thankyou so much for replying, i have asked him to leave but he won’t his name is on the tennancy an i can’t get help financial as long as he is here…. A few hours ago he sliced his leg open said it was my fault i made him do it it not the first time… I need to pluck up the court to call i feel such a failure an that I have let my family down

[MsTaken]

Do you have children there?
You are not a failure. The reason you are thinking like that is because you’ve been mentally abused into thinking your no good. This is his fault. You are still alive so you have the ability to make that change. Like I said it will take time. It’s been years since I split with my abusive ex and I’m still struggling with my mental health, but I have managed to get a house and sort my finances so I’m in a lot better position now. Share your problems on here and you will find alot of people will have the same experiences. It sounds like you’ve been threw alot and the situation your in now is not good. He’s psychologically abusing you by telling you them things are your fault. Try to remind yourself it’s not your fault and one day your going to be out of this situation. There’s no point asking him to leave because he won’t. He knows he’s got a hold over you and he’ll keep using that to keep you. There will be a way to get out its just a case of finding it. Keep working on getting the courage to call woman’s aid. They are really good with advice on all sorts of things. If you think your in any danger make sure you ring the police. Try not to be afraid of coming forward for help. He doesn’t have to know. Get yourself one step ahead of him and with the right help you can get a plan together before he has any idea about what’s happening. You should have some sort of access to finances so the fact that you havnt is financial abuse alone which is a criminal offence. Obviously i don’t know where you are so I don’t know what services you have in your area. Here there’s a domestic abuse centre and a woman’s centre. Do you know if there’s anything like that local to you? Or you could try the doctors. They might be able to point you in the way of some local help. Trying to get out of an abusive relationship is really hard on your emotions. Don’t feel bad for feeling the way you do, it’s nothing to do with you as a person, it’s the place your in that’s doing this to you. And your doing exactly the right thing by reaching out. I’ve got faith in you xx

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