17th May 2016 at 9:55 am #17461WanderingCloudParticipant
After goodness knows how long of gaining my strength, I told him last week that I wanted a separation. In hindsight this was actually the easy bit because I have been totally unprepared for the feelings that follow this decision.
For someone who has conducted himself quite unreasonably in our marriage, he took it very well. Yes there was upset, shock, but overall we have handled things extremely dignified. We have talked through the practicalities of child care and how he will pay me out but I still have that knot in my stomach. I dont know what my future holds as just the previous day, I had discovered that I will also be out of work in the next few months. Maybe my timing to tell him wasnt perfect but the opportunity was there and I grabbed it.
I now need to find somewhere to live as our home is tied up with our business and I don’t want to run it so we both agreed that it is in the best interests of everyone if he stays and continues with the business.
I will hope fully get a small pay out from work but my problem now is whether I can claim housing benefit. Until my equity is released from the business, I will need to rent but the rental prices where we live are extortionate. I am trying not to panic how I will cope but I have that constant anxiety about what the future holds for me. I cannot concentrate for worrying.
I know in my heart that it is the best and right decision but the doubts are creeping in.
Is this all normal? For a grown adult, all I want is someone there to hold my hand through all of this.
17th May 2016 at 3:33 pm #17466SerenityParticipant
Fantastic, Wandering Cloud!
I am glad he seems to be reasonable, and hopefully it is genuine, but be aware that abusers are amenable if it is in their interests to be so.
Don’t let this new found reasonableness lull you into making decisions which profit him and make you lose out.
Please don’t give in to fear, guilt and pity tactics along the way x*x
17th May 2016 at 9:34 pm #17483Confused123Participant
well done hu hope u find something soon and hope he carrys on to be reasonable
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