11th February 2016 at 7:25 am #9510MoonParticipant
I’m so sorry to post again but I’ve totally had enough 😢😢
I can’t deal with everything.
Had the day from hell yesterday because of different things that happened and I felt like I relived things.
I went back to a place that I wasn’t ready to go to.
I don’t know which way to turn and feel like a total failure and not worth the protection we recieve.
I’m gonna lose no matter which way I turn.
I’m so sorry for such a negative post but I just want to get off this horrible rollercoaster now…. I’ve had enough
11th February 2016 at 10:11 am #9517newlife2015Participant
Hi Moon Thinking of you – try to take some time out for yourself (if that is possible). I am not sure if your situation and whether you are still living with your abuser or you have made the break but please stay strong – sometimes we just need to feel like this to get our strength back to face the next battle. I am feeling the same this week but at least I recognise this now before I get too overwhelmed – this time I and have cancelled my friends for tonight as I just feel that I need ‘time out’ – I am planning to have a nice hot bath and read a book, watch TV, sit in my PJs and turn my phone off! Stay strong x*x
11th February 2016 at 10:12 am #9518Winterblues2Participant
Do not kick yourself for going back there. You have seen that you are not ready yet and that is ok.
You are so worthy of the support you are receiving, if not more. You are an incredibly strong women and no matter what happens you will survive this and be stronger than ever.
You will not lose because you are not the one at fault and we are all here behind you.
You are currently going through the hardest part, they say that the first six months after leaving are the most difficult. Keep looking forward because you are getting closer each day to coming out of the other side of this x*x
11th February 2016 at 10:48 am #9522MoonParticipant
I haven’t been back .. Yet,
Sorry meant emotionally back to a place due to a phone call yesterday.
Just really struggling today as time is ticking for us to move back and I just don’t know what to do !
Sorry just having a moment X
11th February 2016 at 11:37 am #9529Winterblues2Participant
I knew what you meant, it is normal to be sent back emotionally and this will be less and less frequent.
Please do not move back, you will be in danger. I know you fear his reaction if you don’t go back but surely that proves how dangerous he is. Please use this time to formulate a new plan.
It may be time to report to the police and then hopefully he’ll have bail conditions bit to contact you. This happened to my ex and took the pressure off me to make quick decisions and head space to start to heal x
11th February 2016 at 4:36 pm #9546Confused123Participant
TRauma bonding is so hard but in time it really does get better, please remember how he hurt u u feelu r not worth support,u r ,please keep speaking with your support worker at refugee, she should be guiding and supporting u. When i had to leave my abuser i was so drained out and thought i just cant do this but what hit me hard was the lady saying to me how can it get any worser if his gonna kill u , u r in a safe place at the refguee. See the refugee as the border line, he cant touch u while u there and with support agencies, the minute u go back to the house or continue contact with him he will weaken u, please stay on safe side , think what will your child do if u get seriously hurt, fight your urges to be with him , fight the urges he might change, it hurts like hell admitting what they did to us, but that is the real wake up call why we cant return,post as much as u need to here,w e will support u all the way, u r precious and u deserve respect and help , u never ask to be abused, he is responsible for his actions
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