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    • #162274
      Buildmeupbuttercup
      Participant

      Hey everyone,

      I want to leave my abusive partner but I don’t know how to go about it. Ghosting him is not an option right now as he can easily find me. Therefore I feel like my best option is to break up with him properly.

      I can’t say that he caused it in anyway because he won’t accept that and will get angry at me. I’m happy to tell him an outrageous lie to make myself feel safer. I have no idea what to say though. Do you ladies have any suggestions?

    • #162284
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      One of the things that struck me on this forum is that in abusive relationships we have to justify leaving, whilst in ‘normal’ relationships one partner can decide they’re not happy and while it hurts the other partner will accept that decision fairly quickly. I guess my point is that if you want to end this relationship you can and shouldn’t need to say why – it’s just not working for you anymore. That said, these men aren’t logical and it won’t matter what reason you give – he won’t accept it. They have to be the victim, so no matter how nice you are about it – to anyone he talks to you’ll be the devil. Don’t waste your energy trying to convince others of what really happened- anyone that believes him isn’t your friend.  To be safe, could you have someone with you? Do it in a public place? Leave when he’s at work and tell him once you’re out? You’ve got to do what’s right for you, not him x

    • #162287
      smallbutbrave
      Participant

      I understand how you are feeling.  I am living in hell right now.  All kind of abuse.  I should just break up with him but i don’t know how.  If I told him face to face or over a text I know for a fact he will attack me.

       

      He has to play the victim 24/7

    • #162294
      Eyeswideopen
      Participant

      All of the above, he will kick out no matter what, but I did say many times he maybe deserved better, I couldn’t give him the love he expected as had to sort something inside me/my head, I’m the broken one…. all while he repeated he was good, I didnt deserve how awesome he was to me 🙄 and I would say “yes, sure”… they cant be faced with the truth or will just deny and try to force you back with every strategy on the npd playbook…

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