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1st January 2022 and my new life begins. I left him. I decided to leave without telling him as I didn’t trust him not to get angry or worse kill me. So (detail removed by Moderator) I set my alarm early and left him asleep in bed and left the house. I was scared, still am but I am just taking it hour by hour. Currently on the (detail removed by Moderator) speeding many miles away.
Sending my thoughts to everyone else who is struggling today. Hopefully I may inspire some of you who want to leave to do it x -
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Oh wow, PussinBoots, my heart’s so happy for you. Well done, it must have been scary but so right and so brave. One hour and one day at a time. You must have inspired so many women today with your bravery and strength 💗 Wishing you courage and safety and a better day each day. You are amazing. Take in the views and breathe. Hugs x
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I think our culture perpetuates a myth that to be brave/strong you feel and act like Wonder Woman. But bravery and fearlessness are not the same. Bravery is doing it even though you’re terrified. If you’re not terrified, you have no need to be brave! The part of you that did it while feeling terrified is the brave you and that part must be incredibly strong, becaue I know the fear created by abuse is strong enough to keep us stuck for years. It’s ok to be afraid and it doesn’t mean you aren’t brave. xxxx
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Well done pussinboots, New Year New You heh!
Today is a great day to take the plunge and go for it.
You know that the journey is ahead is not an easy one, but if ever you feel like you want to go back then get those claws out, dig in and hold on. There will be times where he tries to get the better of you, but bush your tail up, fluff your fur up and give him a big hiss and a growl and scare him off 🙂 -
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Your amazing well done.
Keep reaching out as i found afterwards was extremely hard.
I thought leaving was the magic pill that would solve everything. But in reality for me the healing, the trauma bond breaking, the cognitive dissonance the FOG is really tough after leaving. Get lots of support to manage these things and you can get through the hard first months ok then things really do just get better
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Thanks all of you. It really helps to have your support.
I had an amazing sleep last night so feeling good today.Eyesopening your post was very timely as after my euphoria of actually leaving, my husband has started the guilt tripping (via text). If I turn my phone off then I’m worrying that he may have texted… hmm not sure how to handle that. I guess I could block his number and ask him to use email. Any ideas how to handle this?
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I’d suggest no contact until you have a concrete plan in place. My solicitor contacted my ex straight after i left and I was safe, explaining the situation in terms of the legalities. Depends if you’re applying for a non-mol etc. You could always get a throwaway mobile with a new number and tell him you’ve changed your number and that is your new one. Then use it only for him so you have the control of when you turn it on and off and read messages. Same with email. Could you set up an Our Family Wizard app for all contact? That way it is tracked, you get to decide when you read it and interact with it. Depends on whether you have kids etc on the level of contact you are going to have, have to have. But for now. Id do nothing. No contact. Stay strong. Hope you have a safe place to be and support for you? Have you contacted Women’s Aid or your local DA support organisation. xx
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