I did it, but terrified for what’s ahead.

[Confusedandconflicted]

I ended it, but it was crazy. Threats of harm and killing me. Barricaded myself in with my child but the door came in and had to take my child from bed, grab my keys and drive away.
Police have been involved but not enough evidence to charge, so no restrictions on him being around me or messaging (though blocked on everything) no worried I’m going to have to keep going through more and more traumatic and scary situations until theres enough to charge or get a restraining order? Any advice or experiences appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Well done for breaking free , you should feel so proud of yourself that’s amazing ! I’m suprised at the police for not doing more , document everything, keep a log of incidents, if he does manage to contact you , screenshot everything, but do not respond in any way . I think you can apply for a non mol order yourself if police haven’t helped, if they put you in contact with victim support or try woman’s Aid & the 24 hour helpline which is national , they can also advise you in steps you need to take . Amazing though , very courageous of you , be proud xx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Confusedandconflicted

Yes, you definitely can supply ask your local court for the forms, you can also ask them to help you understand how you need to complete them, and for a tiny fee they can ask a judge for an ex-parte non-mol without automatic right to contest it.

if you didn’t want to go to the court, or complete this yourself, you can use the NCDV, which is a unit that can get a non-mol in 24 hours for you if needed, I think they take all your financials so that they can claim legal aid for it, so you don’t pay, but check this with them.

I am so sorry that you and your child suffered such fear and had to just go. this is where the services should step in to automatically and immediately prevent return to you. Its plain ridiculous that he could come anywhere near you after that. It should be simply a case of she doesn’t want you near, and you have no rights to access her, go to her home, or work, or approach her out in the street. Every woman should have the right to say no, stay away, and have that upheld, without any further evidence, if someone says no, then no it is.

Have the police put a marker on your house? Are you back there now, if so, make sure it is protected to prevent him coming back. or is he already back? If so, ask the police to remove him if this is your home.

You will at least be able to call them if he turns up on your doorstep again, you don’t have to answer the door.

Sending strength for you, and keep safe.

warmest wishes

ts

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