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Once again I received a written communication…how many have I received so far?????
I didn’t want to read but I thought it best to nevertheless because I am seeing my dv lady tomorrow.
His mail is full of self pity as per usual. Call me cold if you wish, but reading how he “is not in a good place” at the moment makes me…can I say cringe?
Our daughter lost 7kg during my escape to the refuge, our son was looking rather lost and deeply sad and disturbed also, our other children try to get on with their higher education (detail removed by moderator)I dealt with all that alone…I came back because our kids needed me, they needed a mum, a smile, a “hey, how are you?”, a presence in their lives, care and attention, chats and joviality.
And all he can think about is himself. Again. He can’t face discussions with me about what has gone on, I get told I nag, he managed perfectly well while I was away…
I was told in texts, email, letters he had understood a lot, was a different man…but when you try to ask how, he reverts back to hiding his head using one front of his jacket or covering himself with a quilt, he pretends he has fallen asleep, he pops pills in his mouth, he drinks, he puts the tv volume sky high, he gets angry, he says I want to control him, and the list goes on.
I am too strong for him, I strongly believe he wanted to drag me down with him in life, he wanted me to enjoy (!!!) feeling depressed, down, sad, lost, melancholic, dramatic, that life was given to us to endure but not to enjoy…
How can you live that way???
I gave birth as a celebration of life, not assured it would be plain sailing but life can throw good surprises at you as well as bad ones. You embrace what comes and you are thankful for your good fortune and grow stronger from the difficulties. That’s life!
Most of all you stay focused together…
You dont choose the attitude he had all his life!
I am too strong for him.Sorry, I needed to get this out of my chest…fed up now! But you know what? Even if it was raining today, I would still do loads and achieve plenty! Yesterday I achieved a target I set myself, sport related, and I blooming well did it!!!!
Smile, and the world will smile with you…no matter what.
Now I feel so much better. Hugs to you all, Sisters!!!
Set yourselves little targets, no matter how small, smiling is a target too. And let me know about your results, it will be more interesting than his depressive texts!
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