I don't get it…

[itmustbemesurely]

I asked him to leave, he went. I did give him a timescale of XXXX months. It was horrendous at first, I asked him to leave because he swore at me, called me names, accused me of being unfaithful, and shoved me to the floor, but he threatened suicide four times, each time he did I backed down and told him that it would be ok. I was crying inside. He text me frequently. Now the time nearly up and he is threatening me. I will have to move out, he will not give me any money unless i let him move back in. But I am doubting myself, I don’t believe in who I am, if I am strong enough, that I am wrong to ask him to stay away and that he is right nobody will ever love me like he does..is that normal??

[KIP.]

It’s normal abuser tactics to threaten suicide to get their own way. To ignore our wishes and try to make us feel worthless so that we will stay with them. You have every right to decide who is allowed in your life. And to tell him to stay away. He is not your responsibility. You deserve to be free and happy x abusers are dangerous when they realise we are serious about leaving them and their threats and emotional blackmailing doesn’t work anymore. That’s when my ex assaulted me. Don’t be afraid to ring the police x

[Ayanna]

Of course, nobody will ever love you like he does, abusing you and threatening you….
That’s why you need to get rid of him.
You could call the mental health service and get him sectioned if he threatens suicide again. That is a good way to get rid of him and he is in a secure place too.
Call 999 as soon as you feel threatened.

[itmustbemesurely]

In the cold light of day I know that, there are times when I don’t though and I think what if that’s as good as it’s going to be, what if I don’t deserve anything better? My esteem has been shot to pieces after all these years. so it’s like a brain fog kind of thing, so confused

[Anonymous]

Yeah I feel similar but you know what?

I don’t care what happens after the split.

If I never have another relationship so be it not going to be needy!

This just feels like a load of gossip. I need to take action not gossip.

I wanted to talk
But phoneline didn’t answer. Tried 3 times

[Lisa]

Hi Zizi,

I am sorry that you were unable to speak to a helpline worker tonight. You can always leave a message with a safe time for them to call you back and they will get back to you. Keep trying them when you are safe to do so and let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Confused123]

HUn

Keep away from this man , his already showing he cant change and can still threaten u, as far as they are concerned everything is always our fault and no one will ever want us again as we are so fat and ugly and have nothing to offer, my response to them is great then u wont miss me, u can do this, u will survive it hun , keep support around u and make your fresh start, report his sucicide threats to gp or police u are not resposible for him

[itmustbemesurely]

Today I know that, tomorrow maybe different. The constant texts and comments about my facebook posts – clearly he is watching what I comment on, looking at my photos etc, makes me feel a bit uneasy to be honest.But yes, I can do it and yes I will survive and my life will be better, today I know that. x*x

[Ayanna]

Block him and get rid of him.
Your life will change for the better.

[Author]

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