Keep having a lot of flashbacks at the minutes. Very panicky. Looking at myself and seeing exactly what he said i was. I cry. I believe im all those cruel words and i still question my purpose. Im in a better place than i was. But i still hate myself.. i feel disgusted in myself. Im scared and forever making sure i am safe in everything i do. Im struggling to maintain relationships again i dont trust anyone, even those closest to me. I still dont feel like my mind is my own. I was doing so well. Why am i feeling like this again ;(