This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Escapee 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #87529
     JustKeepSinging 
    Participant

    Having a really bad day.

    Today has been like a day before we left.

    The kids have been miserable and naughty and squabbling all day. I’ve been tired and grumpy and I feel like I’ve just nagged or shouted at them all day. It’s not their fault that everyone is tired and it’s not their fault I’m so stressed out but I feel like they are picking up on all my negative feelings.

    We even had to leave the supermarket earlier because one of my kids was getting overwhelmed and I just felt like I was going to flip out.

    I am having a proper panic tonight – how the f**k am I going to do this alone?? One of my kids is SEN and needs lots of help, they are young and I feel like I can’t manage all my own emotions at the moment.
    I’m worried about money, about where we are going to live, about contact with my ex and how that will affect the kids, about raising them basically alone. It just feels like so much and I don’t feel like I’m strong enough to do it all.
    I’m too far down the line to go back and I don’t want to either but at the same time I’m achingly lonely and don’t know how I’m going to cope with the future.

    I know tomorrow is another day etc but I don’t want another day like today – I thought we had left them behind me when we left and now I’m worried that the anger, fear have followed us and I don’t know how to make it go away.

  • #87537
     Yellowflower 
    Participant

    Just keep singing I don’t want to patronising and say these feelings will pass but they really will. I have kids too and when you have a bad day it does seem overwhelming when your dealing with so many emotions aswell. I know how you feel when you say how lonely you are I really do feel that way sometimes. A few weeks back I desperately wanted to tell how much I loved and missed him I told myself if I felt that way in a week then yes I’d tell him- them feelings past and I’m glad I didn’t. What I’m trying to say is just let your emotions be and ride it out and see them how you feel. You say your not strong enough but think about how much you’ve achieved already. Leaving an abusive man as we all know is incredibly hard but you did it for yourself and your children. That takes a strong women , a strong mom! Your doing great you are. Treat yourself to a glass of wine and some chocolate tonight and just think about how much you’ve survived already! Keep going your doing a great job be proud of yourself! Xx

  • #87540
     Dragon 
    Participant

    Oh sweetheart, it sounds like you are really struggling.
    You know you have done the right thing and I can’t really give advice because I haven’t left but I can try and offer some support. Kids are hard work and I know the idea of raising them and going through days like this alone must be so overwhelming. There will be days when they are difficult and when you are not 100% or you’re tired and stressed it feels even harder. What I do on days like these is whatever I have to to get through it, PJ day, treats, movies, park, or routine, friends house, call someone to talk and let the kids watch TV, whatever it is that helps you through. Whatever makes it as easy as possible for you.

    From what I have read this bit is going to be hard, grab all the support you can get, accept that it won’t be easy but that it will get easier, take all the support you can get. Keep posting and reading here. Today was hard, tomorrow might be a bit easier, I hope so x*x

  • #87544
     Dragon 
    Participant

    And you absolutely can do this x*x

  • #87546
     Escapee 
    Participant

    A trick I learnt working with children…..

    When they are having a hissy fit, get out a colouring book, some Lego, papers and pens, something you know they like doing, them just sit down and start doing it yourself, don’t say anything; ignore what they are doing, very soon what you are doing will seem way more interesting than what they are doing plus you aren’t reacting to their behaviour. They’ll come and see what you’re doing, ask if they want to help….hissy fit over and calm restored 😘
    Worked every time; and these children had major meltdowns!

    Hope this helps xx

  • #87552
     JustKeepSinging 
    Participant

    Thank you all. It’s not at all patronising!!

    I just feel so overwhelmed I don’t know how to break it down so I can deal with it better. The weekends seem harder – in the week we have school etc that keeps us busy but on the weekend I just feel like I don’t know what’s best to do. I don’t feel like I know anything anymore – I feel so pathetic I can’t make a decision about anything.

    I feel like I don’t know myself and what I believe so how can I raise my kids when I don’t know what to teach them?

    I want to give them support because I see how me being tense and angry (at him not them) makes them act and it makes them act angry. I just want to break that cycle for all of us but I don’t know how

  • #87555
     Escapee 
    Participant

    I realise this is s really personal question but have you spoken to WA about accessing trauma counselling? Xx

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