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My partner hit me during an argument, or at least I thought he did. Police were involved (detail removed by moderator) but he is adamant that he didn’t hit me. He’s so sure of it and that he would never do that, that now I don’t know if I’ve over reacted and made it up in my head. He says (detail removed by moderator) I’m going to have to backtrack with my family and close friend that I told about what happened.
I was so sure that I felt his hand make contact with my face, (detail removed by moderator) and now I can’t picture it anymore.
(Detail removed by moderator), i dont want him to get in trouble. He’s not seen our daughter, his stuff is still in my house, I can’t go back to work because I’ve no childcare, I’m broke, I’m lonely, i know that i had a part to play in our fighting and how played out. I don’t know what I believe anymore.
I feel like I’m going crazy.
Has anyone ever reacted like this during an argument? Could I have made it up? -
Hi, warm wishes
It sounds like your partner is gaslighting you, controlling and you sound very scared. Please, take a breath as everything you feel in your gut is true. Have you thought of starting a journal (I kept mine in my phone) of the abuse, that way you will know what is real, it helped me to believe in myself (my husband gaslighted me to the point that I referred to myself a mad as I truly believed I was… now I am out I know that I am sane)….
This is gaslighting explained….
Gaslighting happens when an abuser tries to control a victim by twisting their sense of reality. An example of gaslighting would be a partner doing something abusive and then denying it happened. Gaslighters may also convince their victims that they’re mentally unfit or too sensitive.
It is an awful feeling as it is a form of mental torture, you are not crazy… gaslighting is designed to make you loose your mind.
You ask if anyone has made something up during an argument… nope, unfortunately everything my husband has done over (detail removed by moderator) was and is true…
Also, when I started challenge my husband with his behaviour he would become instantly defensive, angry and then aggressive…. as I got stronger I would argue my point back at him and we would both get heated at times (fight, flight, freeze are common reactions to abuse… I have experienced all 3 at different times)… what I am trying to say is please do not blame yourself as your partner wants you to do just that, he will have you take all responsibility and blame you (they all do).
Have you tried your local Womans Aid as they can support you. You do not have to go to the police if you are not ready, he won’t necessarily get in trouble. If you do decide to talk to the police ask for a DA trained officer.
Keep posting ❤
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Thank you. It’s good to know that someone thinks I’m not being ridiculous, even if I am in other ways. I had started to track things before but he found out and it made things worse. I even made recordings of him in his rages so I could listen back to what he said. He says so much and chops and changes that I get confused and if I’m not 100% accurate in recalling it he says (detail removed by moderator). He remembers everything and I’m so forgetful.
The police have been involved before (detail removed by moderator).
He’s taking steps to change with counselling and (detail removed by moderator) and initially took responsibility but with each day he’s putting more and more of it back on me.
(Detail removed by moderator). From here on I need to be better at remembering things or finding a time to write it down without him seeing me.
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He knows exactly what he’s done, abusers don’t want to acknowledge themselves as being abusive so they’d rather make us take the blame or completely deny it happened but it did cos you know the police were called and you remember, please don’t let him back he’s an abusive gaslighter and letting him back will make him think he can do these things all over again
💜🤗💜
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