Tagged: Trigger warning sexual assault
13th March 2020 at 8:59 pm #99233MealDealSupremeParticipant
last week I got drunk. Like almost two bottles of red wine in the space of three hours drunk…my partner doesn’t drink so they were sober. we were talking in bed and it got a bit sexual. my dumb mouth and lack of filter were the reason the conversation became like that. in my drunken state I thought of it as a casual conversation. anyway, my partner started to initiate and I don’t remember verbally saying yes but I remember nodding to their advances. then everything fades to black. I fully black out for what I find out later was 30 minutes. I didn’t even realise we were still having sex until they finished. I was very confused as to what had just happened and even asked my partner if I had fallen asleep during it because I have no memory what so ever if the act even though it had just finished. Even when I came to, I found it very hard to keep my eyes open whilst my partner finished. A week has passed and I still don’t know what went on. They said I liked it and seemed responsive but the whole situation has made me feel anxious. I don’t really know what to do or if this really counts as assault…
I have dealt with other kinds of S/A in the past so I feel as if I should be able to give a definite answer but I honestly am unsure about the whole thing…
13th March 2020 at 9:19 pm #99234KIP.Participant
If you’re unsure about the whole thing then that is not consent. If you’re anxious about it then your gut is telling you something was wrong. If he was questioned by the police they would ask him how he knew you were consenting. If you had passed out then You’re not capable of giving consent. Give the rape crisis helpline a ring and see what they say. Whatever happened it’s left you anxious and that’s harmful x
14th March 2020 at 10:32 am #99244LisaMain Moderator
Welcome to the forum, I just wanted to show you some support. I can see you have already had a very supportive reply from KIP.
Sorry to hear about what you have experienced. If you black out or fall asleep during sex, you can not give your consent.
Please consider getting some support. You could speak to Rape Crisis https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ They can help you find your local sexual violence support centre where you could get some further support. They won’t force you to make any decisions on the next step but they can give you some options and information.
Take care and please keep posting to let us know how you are doing.
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