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    • #18417
      Timeforachange
      Participant

      I just need some advice really. I have never been on anything like this before and I don’t know if I am over thinking things but I just need some help. I have been with my boyfriend nearly (detail removed by Moderator) years. A (detail removed by Moderator) ago his dad was moving away so I was sort of made to move in with him. The (detail removed by Moderator) was great but things seem to have changed this year.

      I don’t really know where to start. He will often call me names and make really degrading comments to me. For example, we were away on Holiday with his family with a hot tub and he said to me “make sure you get in the hot tub first so no one see’s you in your swimming costume” so I decided to do something about it and join the gym which he has also decided to join. I think this is Because he doesn’t trust that I am where I say I am.

      I have become very distant from my friends and he really does not like me making new friends. I have become also very distant from my family and he really does not like me interacting with them and will become very defensive when he is aware we are talking about him.

      He is so lazy around the house but will turn it around to make me think I am the lazy one. It is very much one rule for one and one for another. He goes out with his friends a lot and I am left to be the taxi but even then I manage to be doing something wrong.

      He has tried to hit me once before and on one other occasion I was really scared that he would. He looses his temper very easily and it will often result in him punching things.

      I don’t really know what to do, I love him a lot and I am only (detail removed by Moderator) so he is all I really know. I don’t cope well with having to talk face to face with him and will buckle under pressure if I am made to talk to him about it. I think I’m worried to leave him because he has no family around here anymore and will be left to man a house on his own.

      Help me 😩😩

    • #18423
      SilkyHalide
      Participant

      If you’re thinking you are not leaving just because you are concerned for his future you are putting him before yourself entirely. You know what to do but fear of the unknown and fear of feeling like a bad person amongst other fears are holding you back. Don’t sacrifice your life to his behaviour as it will escalate. Often physically but in my case emotionally. When I ended it after 2 decades I had lost myself I was a shell / a puppet. I’m finding myself now and it’s great. You are young. Find yourself and how to love yourself. Get advice help from women’s aid and keep talking. Love shouldn’t make you afraid or trapped.

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