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Im getting a safe exit plan together, but im worried and really scared that when the time comes, i dont think ill be able to leave, which is really stupid because i have been dreaming about the day ill leave him for ages.
Im scared that ill regret my decision, even though i know i cant/dont want to live with him.
I was talking to my 2 eldest (who are really excited about leaving) and as i was telling them the plan, i started feeling overwhelmed and anxious, close to tears, my heart was beating so fast…….and thats just talking about it, how am i ever going to be able to leave?! And if i dont go now, i know my kids will be really hurt and feel let down.
Another cause of anxiety is what do i say in my letter/text? He has never seen himself as the problem, he says/thinks hes the worlds greatest husband/father. So i know when/if i leave, im going to get a hurl of abuse by phone/voicemail, and then a hurl of begging for forgiveness and false promises of how he’ll change and make it work……..and when that doesnt work its going to be a whole load of abuse again, with threats and violent behaviour………just thinking about it makes me sick, so will i be able to leave knowing all this…….
I actually wish i hadnt started anything and given my kids false hope, i feel like a total wimp and bad parent but im so scared……
Any advice?
I tried to find out my options about getting an emergency injunction so hubby will think twice before trying to contact me, but i was told that because he hasnt been abusive the last 6 weeks, (even though i explained that was only because ive stayed quiet infront of him and not rocked the boat) i cant get an injunction because im not at risk, unless i tell him that im leaving, and let him be abusive, and then i can get the injunction against him?! That doesnt sound right does it? I have to put myself at risk (and my childrens) to “prove” that i need protection. -
No it doesnt sound right, and I seriously believe that if you speak to the helpline\police and get all the information and preparation done that you need to, you will probably be anxious anyway but not for not knowing your rights and how to do it safely.
Please don’t feel bad, I spoke to a friend the other night about what had happened and she never knew, and we’ve been out a long time now, and when I put the phone down I was literally shaking and completely tensed up, and that was jut talking about the past. It’s going to be unknown to a degree, but fill in all the gaps you can first to make leaving really count so that it’s for good.
Cut all communications, take battery out of old phone, get new sim to put in when you have left. Tell police you are going so he cannot use them to try to find you.
Only tell anyone you trust more than 100%! Same for the children, this is somethin they have to keep safe for you all.
Keep asking anything you need on here and all your supports. We’re all with you on this.
Warmest wishes ts
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