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    • #82013
      CosmosIdealology
      Participant

      Ok i need some support

      I left my abuive partner in (detail removed by moderator) last year and it was a (detail removed by moderator) year relationhip (toxic) he’d call me names, hit me, abuse me sexually and the emotional scars he left behined has broke me. i found out that in may he raped one of my freinds that sent me over the edge completely i was a mess suicidle even. Luckily my new partner (who is my rock and security blanket) saw the warning signs and got me help mentally and i am being treated as an outpatient. but what i dont understand is even though i escaped and have tried to make a new life for myself he is still hurting me everyday wih the thoughts of why didnt i report him sooner, the memories, the sadness. can anyone help explain these feelings? should i feel these feelings? why cant i stop him from hurting me i ran a million miles away, even moved country to getaway from him. i just dont understand

    • #82014
      fizzylem
      Participant

      For me it was chaotic, jumping from one problem to the next and the next with him, it never really gives a person time to stop and process things, resolve anything. Was it like this when you were together?

      It can be when we stop or even when things start to feel good that we collapse, sometimes when things feel good it leaves me with an uneasy feeling, like what’s next, what’s around the corner.

      Abuse is not something a person can recover from over night, it often takes years of comittment to personal development and self awareness. Also, it’s very natural for old feelings to re- surface when in a new relationship, might be the stage you’re in that triggers something or something he says.

      It’s frustrating isnt it when he invades your mind, it’s likely you need to resolve how you feel about things which is why he keeps popping in, work out what it all means to you, what the hell happened, make sense of it, eventually after doing this you can get to a place where you feel you won’t be vulnerable to it again and can work on putting him out of your mind x

    • #82026
      CosmosIdealology
      Participant

      thanks fizzylem that has made me feel better

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