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The first few days were hard, lots of crying and remembering the good memories, but that has gone and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have spoken to him a few times since and I can already see how he’s trying to reel me back in. Extremely upset, wants to stay friends and will do anything to change so that we can work it out. But I’ve never felt more sure of what I don’t want and it’s such a relief knowing that I don’t have to go back to him or have him in my life. The hardest part for me (so far) was leaving but it’s given me a mental freedom I haven’t experienced in years and years.
Maybe I’m being a bit naive and my emotions will take a nosedive at some point, but I feel like I can spot his manipulation a mile away now and I can distance myself emotionally because we’re not together anymore and that level of commitment has gone for me.
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Hi NopeNope,
It doesn’t sound like you’re being naïve to me. It sounds like you’re very aware of your feelings as they are and you’re recognising that they might change to be difficult again, but hopefully in the knowledge that you can get through that. Ending a relationship with an abuser is still an end and it’s normal to go through some grieving for that, which you gave time for in those first few days. I’m so glad that you are feeling solid in yourself and able to spot his tactics. Just because he wants to be friends with you, you don’t owe him that, do whatever you need to stay safe. You might find the resources on the Bloom website helpful in your healing journey.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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