I feel happy (I think)

[Firsttimedivorcee]

Marriage has broken down completely. Divorce was applied for last year and no surprises, he doesn’t want to sign and is ignoring. Since then, I’ve felt a deep sinking feeling every time he messages. Whether it’s to see the kids, whether it’s to arrange to have them, the mere message and my heart sank. Today, I couldn’t care less. I feel nothing. Up until now I felt guilt because I couldn’t reconcile this wonderful man to his behaviour and I am not sure if I have cracked it or not, but he doesn’t have a hold on me, at least not for now.

 

for you lovely people, thank you. I post often, sometimes with no traction but the mere thought of me getting my thoughts out and for someone to not disagree brings me peace. Thank god we have each other.

[Lisa]

Thank you for sharing with us, Firsttimedivorcee. I am glad you find the forum helpful, keeping posting when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[tiredofitall]

Its an amazing feeling when you can receive messages from them and not feel anything.  It does take time to come to terms with the decisions we make, even though we know with our heads they are the right ones, our hearts don’t always follow.  The reasons why we stay so long are usually the reasons why we feel so guilty.

I’ve been separated almost (timeframe removed by Moderator) years now and just celebrated my (timeframe removed by Moderator) divorce-ary!  The best decision I ever made.  He still tries to make me feel guilty about how sad and lonely his life is but I remind myself that his life is sad and lonely because of the choices he made (and continues to make) with the people he is supposed to care about.

I am owning being selfish for the first time in years.  Its about time I put my happiness first and I’m not apologising for it.

Best of luck to you going forward.  I hope it continues. x

[Texas]

@Tiredofitall

‘I am owning being selfish for the first time in years.  Its about time I put my happiness first and I’m not apologising for it.’

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

[Firsttimedivorcee]

It’s crazy that we define that as selfish. By nature, we have been selfless and frankly, had they had appreciated it. We would still be there. But yes, it feels good to know I need to do me. I am so glad you’ve gotten to a point in your life where you’re happy and celebrating it. I hope one day I’ll get there too!

[Author]

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