I feel like I’m grieving

[Jelly bean]

Just recently I’m becoming more and more upset over my ex and I have no idea why. Up untill now I had no feelings but hate towards him. For what he’s done to me, for what he’s still doing to me, and for what he’s doing to our children. The thought of him made me feel sick.

He has moved on now and has a new girlfriend, I couldn’t care less about this because I thought maybe it would make him leave me alone if he had something else to focus on.

But I’ve found out he has taken her to somewhere that he used to take me and it’s literally messed my brain up big time.

My very last happy memory of me and him was at this place and now he’s taken her there and it’s shattered my memories into pieces.

But why am I so bothered? I was never bothered before. Why would something as small as this just hit me like a ton of bricks and cause me so much upset? The things he’s done and still doing are far far worse than this.

I almost feel like I’m grieving for the person I thought he was. The person that he was on my very last memory of him at this certain place.

I’m not sure how I’m suppose to feel because I’ve spent so much time and energy being angry at him, being frightened and fighting for my kids that now I’ve started to feel like this, it’s knocked me for six.

How can I STILL be upset over a man who clearly never loved me and is capable of all the things he has done. Suppose I feel absolutely disappointed in myself..

[KIP.]

I found out that my ex took his new gf to our special place too! I even think it was when he was still with me! It hurts because of the perception that it was special. At one point it was full of happy memories. Then I thought that the idiot doesn’t have an original thought in his brain. How superficial. I bet she felt special too. It’s all a big con. They are so predictable. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Try to put it out your head. It’s not your shame x

[Escaped not free]

I know EXACTLY how u feel. I fled my home with mine, not his three children. Despite offering funds to allow him to rent somewhere he’s refused everything to keep cintrol. He’s stalked and harassed until eventually I involved the police. He was charged and bailed to our home…hence homeless. 4 of us stuck in my mums spare single bedroom. This has been months now. I wanted to split amicably. Tried everything but he wouldn’t stop. He’s made my life a living hell. I miss him like I’ve lost a vital limb. Every time The police approach me for more information I want to go to him have him hold me to make it better. I want his love and presence and yet I know he is a monster. I’m a well educated individual who was able to hold a very responsible job before this happened to me. It’s as though I’m up against two entirely different people. The evil monster making my life hell and the guy I desperately love and want to reach out to. I sympathise with you. He’s had a woman staying at my house, where it’s all my own furniture kitchen equipment, everything. He brought a TV and a single bed to our house when we bought it I brought everything else and he’s in my bed with another woman as I speak and I’m devastated rather than angry. I end up getting angry with police and Womans aid for being in this place. It’s ridiculous, my head knows this but it’s my heart that’s ruling xxxx

[Jelly bean]

It seems that all of these men have this in common. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way, I was starting to get really angry with myself.

Escapednotfree – I too have had to report to the police for harrassment. It sounds awful what you have been through, having him bring someone else into your own home.. It must be heartbreaking. I hope you manage to sort something soon so you’re not homeless x

Healthyarchive – you’re not rambling, I appreciate your advice. I guess you’re right, he obviously just can’t think of anything better to do with her so he’s just sticking to what he knows. I think it’s easy for me to forget that things that were so special to me clearly just meant nothing to him. He will show his true colours eventually. X

Good riddance to bad rubbish.. Amen KIP! X

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