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    • #64067
      I.dont.know.
      Participant

      Today I get the keys to a rented property I’ve managed to save enough money to afford.

      I am so scared I don’t know how I’m going to be able to pack my things and leave!! I know I can’t take everything but I will try at take what I can. I still feel guilty about it as he keeps saying me and the kids are all he’s got!! I tried to end it nicely but he threatened to kill himself so I backed down and stayed!!

      I know it’s never going to be easy but how do I actually find the strength to just go??

    • #64068
      she-ra
      Participant

      Oh my lovely, you will be fine, you can do this, it will be the best thing you’ve done. You’re all be safe and free! Just don’t think about, just do it. Pack your things hun and walk out the door and don’t look back. You Can do this! Sending you so much love and best wishes, good luck x*x

    • #64069
      dustypink
      Participant

      I really would like to be in this situation )
      You are strong and brave, well done!
      You will be free soon!

    • #64075
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      You are so strong! remind yourself of that 🙂 My ex threatened suicide many times and said it was down to his mental health but in the end when it was investigated there was actually nothing wrong with him! He lied it was a tactic to make me feel guilty. Stay strong your doing the best thing you could possibly do for your kids and your self. I promise . God bless xx

    • #64077
      lost
      Participant

      Amazing! Your nearly there i think you have given a lot of people in our situation hope. Mine threatened suicide and later told me he just said it to worry me. He was crying on the phone and i really belived i was going to come home to a dead body. I raced back and do you know what he was fine. Didnt even acknowledge that half an hour earlier id been out of my mind thinking he was going to end it. Tactics to make us stay and to make us crazy. Good luck. Nearly nearly there! Xxxxx

    • #64089
      teatime
      Participant

      One day at a time love, so sorry you have to go through this, but brighter days are ahead xx

    • #64092
      itwillbeokay
      Participant

      Oh goodness, good luck, I had to post as I remember this so well. I left quickly initially with the children and things shoved in a bag. I got a flat sorted for us and had to go back to our (rented) house to get our things, our life basically. I went with my sister, it’s over an hour away, I was so scared, distraught, heartbroken, nervous and guilty. It was one of the hardest days of my life packing up in one go and leaving it behind. I had asked my husband to stay away and he did but I didn’t know he would at the time. I just kept going and put one foot in front of the other. I knew I had to do it and that the life I deserved was coming.

      It’s not easy. Not one bit. I’ve had months of cognitive dissonance, guilt, self doubt, ruminating etc. But I guess I’ve always known that this time was it (I’ve left twice before pre children) and it was the right thing to do. And now, months later, the fog is truly clearing. I’ve read and listened to everything I can to validate my experience. Low contact. Grey rock.

      We now live in a flat as opposed to a big house by the sea. But it’s mine and my children’s and it’s happy, filled with love and laughter and calm. I’m no longer hyper vigilant. I’m more peaceful. A better happier person. I wouldn’t swap our flat for the world. Hard as it is, still is, it was the right thing to do and we are happier for sure.

      I’m sad for him that his flawed personality and abusive ways have taken everything that was right in his life from him. But I can’t carry him anymore.

      Good luck with your move. Be very strong and brave. You can do this and you will.

      Much love xx

    • #64120
      BakingQueen
      Participant

      Good Luck my love. I remember when I left I tried to take everything but some sentimental things got left behind.

      To this day I remind myself those things are material. What really matters is you and the kids. So don’t be too hung up on grabbing everything. Make sure you have paperwork, birth certificates, passports etc, essentials and then anything else that means something that you can carry.

      Good luck and don’t forget why you’re doing this. It’s safer this way to leave in secret x

    • #64295
      I.dont.know.
      Participant

      Thanks all for the words of support, I’m am still here but come Friday I’m picking my kids up from school jumping in my car and not coming back!! Hopefully it will go as smoothly as that but who knows xx

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