I feel so fed up

[Rosemary]

Sense I’ve ran away from my ex because of domestic abuse aggressive controling me and abuseing me my life not got any better I am in attempery accommodation with my children and the experience I’ve had is horrible liveing conditions my surport worker trying her best to move me but the council are so slow they just dont care I understand they have other people to deal with I am just really protisted this place is affecting my children mental health they just need there own rooms and even bidding for a house is a nightmare I want my life back together I’ve sat here and cry my eyes out because I just feel hopeless in my situation.

[Anonymous]

Rosemary, You should be in a refuge by right , you’d get the added support and you wouldn’t have to bid for houses,but still in those cases I your children wouldn’t have their own rooms and also you’d be put in a different area to keep you safe from your ex , the only other option is private renting or maybe phoning homeless charities or women’s aid ( I know you have a support worker already)also when you are moved please find out about the area and neighbours first, from refuge I was put into a terrible antisocial housing estate,my housing officer lied to me and my support worker about how “nice” the area was, she also told the elderly/disabled couple if they didn’t like it she’d put them down for a move (instead of moving the perpetrators on instead)I know it’s really hard but you won’t be there forever and your right the council probably doesn’t care, it’s just they’re job to move people around the only people that care are the people who know what’s it like, if I could move you somewhere nice and quickly I would but I can’t, but you will find other members on the forum who’ve been through similar situations, take care rosemary 💞💞💞

[Rosemary]

Thank you Auriel for your advice and surport I really appreciate it this bidding system is wrong because I should be protisted geting a house I’ve even tried private renting they want a guarantor which is hard to find . Do you now of any companys that take no grauntour on houseing? My support worker is great but it’s the council who are so slow when it comes to houseing people like us who been thought domestic abuse. I never wish my life ro be like this I just want a house get my life back together. It will be a slow process geting a house which makes me feel so depressed.

Thank you for being here for me I really appreciate it

[Wants To Help]

Hi Rosemary,

I have been in your situation and can sympathise with you so much. It is really hard living in limbo and not knowing when or where you can pick your life up and get on with it again. I spent quite some time dependent on other people and the outcome of court cases before I could fully move on and put some roots down again. The process of leaving an abuser and finding somewhere else to live, sorting out the finer details of the legal separation process, financial severance, court cases etc does become all consuming and it takes over your life.

Whilst going through all of my situation I did some voluntary work in the community each week and through this I found a support network. The voluntary worked helped me to focus on something else and other people’s needs at the time, which was a welcome relief and escape from my own needs for a little while, and the people I worked with got to know me. As a result of that, I got offered a part time job based on the fact that they already knew I was reliable and capable, and one of the people had a friend who ran a letting agency, so they vouched for me to take on a rental house as I didn’t really have any references. The charity I was volunteering for paid my deposit. I’m not suggesting this is going to work for you, but I had no idea when I started volunteering just what doors this opened up for me during my journey, or how important and helpful the people I met along the way came to being a huge part of my recovery. The other volunteers also helped me with childcare when I got stuck, invited us to their homes for dinner (because they knew I was in a refuge and didn’t really have anywhere else to go) and I know that without all of that happening my recovery would have been totally different.

I’m not sure if this is something you could consider, or are feeling up to doing, but I’m just throwing it out there as an idea as it helped me.

I hope today is a better day for you x

[Rosemary]

Thank you so much for your help and your advice I really appreciate it wants to help what you been doing seams something positive to be honest. One of my children are dependent on me it’s really difficult for me to do what you been doing its such a good idea. Me and my children are in one room and its causeing my children to have worse mental health issues its horrible because I feel hopeless that I can’t get my life back together again I hope it dont take a long time because it will break my heart even more . I cant afford to pay storage prices either I wish my counicl would understand this . All they think about is that we have somewhere to lie our heards . I hope they move me to a different attempery accommodation because this one is not healthy to be in .

Thank you for giveing me your help and surport it means alot to me

[Anonymous]

Rosemary, I was lucky with my flat because I don’t have a guarantor either, my flat is above a business I found mine by accident, I just wanted to go back to my home town, found a large set of keys on the pavement and it turned out the business opposite had a flat just empty, it’s surprising and disappointing when someones been in your situation that people don’t step up and offer more help, but a flat above a business I doubt would be big enough for you and you children, you’d need a house, I still think you should phone women’s aid or call into your local domestic abuse centre, I hope things work out soon for you, good luck 💖🍀💖

[Rosemary]

Thank you for careing Auriel I really appreciate it sorry I’ve reply late to you I am still going thought alot and I just cant cope anymore I’ve tried so hard to get a house my Council are not interested which breaks my heart. It’s nice you found a flat bless you

[Author]

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