This topic contains 9 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Icandothis 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #97175
     Icandothis 
    Participant

    To a chap I’d met on a dating site. We spoke on the site first. But within no time he had given me his number. I weren’t going to contact him at first but I did. He seemed ok and I were getting on really well with him. But he seemed to be texting me and ringing me a lot. Within weeks saying he loved me which scared me a bit. Saying he would love to go on holiday me him and the lads I have… I found this odd as he hadn’t met even me in person at this point. I felt smothered. Saying he wanted a future me him and the lads. He said I hope u don’t feel I’m smothering you… it’s because I care and I’m protective of you. If he knew I were going out for a walk with my sister at night he would say be careful.. might of been genuine I don’t know. It felt a bit creepy so I said I wanted to end things so he were crying and begging me not to leave him saying he needed me in his life or he would have nothing… just wondered what ur thoughts are… thanks xx

  • #97176
     Landy 
    Participant

    My ex and I were introduced by a friend on messenger and talked for months before we met. Trouble is with meeting someone like this is that they can be who they want to be. I’d be worried about the frequency of calls and the speed at which he’s saying he loves you. They are red flags to me.

  • #97178
     freedomfries01 
    Participant

    Delete the app and forget him. Even if he is genuine (and it doesn’t matter if he is) is it worth the chance. I met someone who was behaving like that to me. I’d known him since we were kids and that behaviour really bothered me. If it were someone I had never met…..just no way he sounds like he’s going to be a nightmare…what am I saying he sounds like a nightmare already!

  • #97181
     Hetty 
    Participant

    Major red flags. Love bombing and over stepping boundaries. He sounds very unstable x

  • #97182
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    So good to read you listened to and responded to what you were thinking and feeling ICDT – this stands you in good sted hey for finding the right people to be in your life!

    Absolutely can see you picked up that he was setting the pace and this was uncomfortable, he wanted to jump ahead didn’t he, without having put in the time to really get to know you and without giving you the time to get to know him properly either!

    You wont always be on the same page with a partner, but guess it’s about being mostly on the same page and then when you are not communicating so that you are again.

    Maybe he’s lonely, or looking for a saviour, thing is you want this person to enhance life don’t you, so he introduces you to new people, places and fun things, sounds like he thinks he doesn’t have a life or these things to share, that he will get his life when you or a woman is in it. It could be that he is looking for a woman to take care of him, make his life better, lots of reds flags here wasn’t there; the pace feels right for us both when it is right hey x

  • #97184
     Icandothis 
    Participant

    Sadly hes a health condition and is lonely. But I’ve a sons with health conditions and so I would of been taking on a big workload. Hes other issues as well which I won’t mention. He were married but his ex left him for another man he said x

  • #97193
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    I’ve had something similar (detail removed by moderator). An old work contact sent me a message on a professional social media site, he added me on Facebook and we got chatting. It was fun for a while and quite flattering- he’s quite a bit younger than me and has the lot, job looks etc. but red flags popped up, every conversation he started turning to physical stuff. I backed off, he apologized said he realized he’d overstepped the mark. Not heard from him in (detail removed by moderator) then suddenly a message just saying hi how are you. Replied, saying hi, and bingo – within a minute, sexual references etc. made me feel sick. I made my excuses and logged off. If he contacts me again I’ll just say I don’t feel ready for another relationship no matter how casual, and leave it at that.

    Trust your instincts – he might be after someone to take care of him, etc and if you’re anything like me, that pulls on the heartstrings, you want to make them happy, make their lives better. No. You want that for you now and so do I!

  • #97194
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    If this is true, it tells us that there was no real openess and honesty in this relationship doesn’t it – that she couldn’t tell him it was over before she started something new – why is that? Maybe he wasn’t listening? Maybe she got tired of trying to say? Doesn’t sound like she had much respect for him does it – why was that? He’s playing the victim here as well insn’t he, maybe he was? Or maybe he didnt mention how horrid he was to her before this? Or that he also had an affair. There is always more to it hey and two sides.

    My friend said something to me once that stuck in my mind, no one throws a good man away do they x

  • #97219
     Newbeginnings1234 
    Participant

    He sounds similar to my Husband, I met him online, he gave me his number straight away, pressured me into sleeping with him the first time I met him (the day after I first spoke to him online) and within less than a week of meeting him he was buying me presents and flowers and taking me on holiday. My friends told me not to go, some of them joked that he was going to murder me. He would also call and text me hundreds of times a day and wanted to spend every minute with me. He met my parents and told me he loved me within weeks of meeting him and we got married less than a year later. In terms of the person you’re talking to saying that his ex left him for someone else, that’s what my Husband told everyone after I left but it wasn’t true, so it’s possible that what he’s saying might not be true. At least you’ve realised early on that things aren’t right, if I’d noticed earlier I could have avoided years of abuse. The fact that you’re worried about him in the first place suggests that maybe it would be best to stay away x

  • #97237
     Icandothis 
    Participant

    He said he hoped I didn’t think he were bombarding me…regarding texts and calls it were because he cared and were protective of me..it scared me

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