1st September 2021 at 7:32 pm #130866
Omg omg and breeth.
(Detail removed by moderator) I was offered a job (detail removed by moderator) but they said I am good and well liked and would love me on board. Its just(detail removed by moderator) but OMG its a start to independance its a start to a life. Ok at some point i will have to tell him and listen to the nasty comments he will do all he can to stop me but I WANT THIS and im gonna take it. Am scared but Oh my I feel good today i feel useful needed and good at something.
I will face the c**p tomorrow today I smile x
1st September 2021 at 8:13 pm #130869KIP.Participant
🥳👏well done you! It’s typical for an abuser to resent our success. To stunt our growth so please don’t let him, power to you 💪
1st September 2021 at 9:23 pm #130873EggshellsParticipant
🥳👍😘 Well done you. I’m so pleased for you. Ofcourse they snapped you up! lucky them to have you on board.
If he gives you grief come back on the forum and soak up the joy we have for you, you amazing lady. xx
1st September 2021 at 9:32 pm #130875BettertimesaheadParticipant
Congratulations, a new job and the start of you starting to get your life back. Baby steps. Well done!!
1st September 2021 at 9:46 pm #130877AnonymousInactive
Hi nbumblebee , it’s obvious we don’t know each other but your good news today must have made you feel amazing. You deserve something good in your life. It’s good you are saying you are smiling today . Hold on to that smile . Best wishes Stargazing x
1st September 2021 at 9:51 pm #130878HawthornParticipant
Ah what brilliant news!! 👏
Big congratulations to you, as Eggshells said they are indeed lucky to have you. Really well done, this is the beginning of big positive things for you, and we are all here to celebrate with you 😀😊🙌
1st September 2021 at 10:51 pm #130880iliketeaParticipant
Great news!! Well done! 👏 exciting new beginnings on their way. So happy for you. Xx
2nd September 2021 at 8:35 am #130897
You lot have made me cry thank you so much.
Its ojr anniversary today tough day im gonna keep reading your messages over and over today to get me through it. Hugs to you all you amazing ladies hou x
2nd September 2021 at 9:06 am #130898soxyParticipant
Congratulations!!! That’s such lovely news and you can do this, they have already seen your potential :-D! It will be so good for you and give you the boost you deserve and need. All the best x
2nd September 2021 at 9:25 am #130901EyesopeningParticipant
Well done you nbumblebee, you can do great things.
I got my current job at the start of the time I was starting to think he was abusive. He didn’t really acknowledge it when I told him. But I didn’t care, it was mine and I did it, even when his friends told me to give up.
This job has been so good for me and has built up my confidence which I think was a big factor in gaining back my strength and allowing me to walk away from the relationship.
Savor your success, it’s yours and you made it happen, no one else x*x
2nd September 2021 at 5:44 pm #130935
3rd September 2021 at 6:42 am #130967EyesopeningParticipant
Hey nbumblebee, I had to think about this. I think we all have the strength, it’s all inside us. But we all need to take a journey to get to that place of strength. It’s like the change curve, we all go through it, and it takes time, but the most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself, never criticize yourself, you are human and are only responding to your situation like any other person would. I spent all my free time on this forum, listening to youtube videos and books. Knowledge really is power and the more you understand, the easier it is to build up that barrier and gain strength.
Then of course support is the most important thing. We can’t do it alone, we need support here, we need outreach workers, we need GP’s, and friends and family and coworkers. We need to build a life that is ours, a life that will support us just fine without the abuser.
Well done you again, stay strong you can do this 🙂 xxxx
3rd September 2021 at 4:20 pm #130993
Thank you I guess thats my thing I dont have any support apart from you guys this fight is mine alone and some days thats tough its really tough.
I gotta do this I really have I just hope and pray the fall out isnt too much that he doesnt make it impossible for me to work. Only time will tell I guess. Thank you again your words always give me hope and hold me up. Take care x
2nd September 2021 at 11:43 am #130908Wants To HelpParticipant
That’s great news @nbumblebee, this goes to show that you DO have the power within you to make changes to your life, changes for the better. When you tell him your good news remember this…
A healthy relationship partner will:
Be delighted for you
Celebrate with you
Wish you good luck
Tell you he knew all along you’d get the job because you are so awesome
An abuser will:
Be gutted (because it doesn’t suit him)
Ask why on earth you’d want to do that
Tell you you’re stupid for even thinking you’ll be any good at it
Discourage you from taking it
Tell you the pay is rubbish, the job is rubbish, you don’t need to work as he earns enough
Put a downer on your joy
Go in a sulk/mood/silent treatment
Threats or physical harm if you accept it
Try and make you late for it when you start to sabotage it
I hope you have a good day x
2nd September 2021 at 4:44 pm #130927
2nd September 2021 at 4:52 pm #130929ISOPeaceParticipant
That’s wonderful nbumblebee! I know it’s scary too, but you’re doing it with your eye open. You’re not kidding yourself that he’ll be supportive. This is a massively courageous thing to do. Don’t underestimate how much strength this has taken and like Eyesopening said, you made it happen. I am so happy for you. Well done you!
When you do tell him, remember that whatever you say won’t make him think it’s ok if he has a problem with it. Try not to get sucked into arguing your case and defending yourself. In my experience, the harder I tried to get him to see my side of things, the worse I felt afterwards. You can tell him about it and not back down without getting sucked into trying to persuade him to see your point of view. Xxxx
2nd September 2021 at 5:41 pm #130934
2nd September 2021 at 6:15 pm #130936KIP.Participant
They can’t stand that we are bettering ourselves. Abusers are all about dragging and keeping us down. You will never reach your potential with an abuser x
2nd September 2021 at 8:42 pm #130945SecretlifeParticipant
This is fantastic news! I am so pleased for you. I speak from experience, it will do you the world of good and make such a difference to how you feel about yourself. Huge WELL DONE! I feel all the ladies on here are cheering for you! X*x
2nd September 2021 at 9:59 pm #130949
Thank you so much am still buzzing until I have to tell him. The support and love on here is just so incredable i cant believe so many can ne so kind so thoughtful whilst going through so much pain themselves. Im very lucky to have found this forum and you guys very lucky x
3rd September 2021 at 9:44 pm #131009AnonymousInactive
Well done nmbumblebee 🥳, don’t let him ruin this for you, It’s the start of new and hopefully better things for you, x x x
3rd September 2021 at 11:05 pm #131011True2myselfParticipant
Congratulations 🎊 x
4th September 2021 at 9:17 am #131019
A little update not sure how much of this will be removed but i hope you understand it.
Ive been asked to be interviwed (detail removed by Moderator) about my role in helping others throughout covid (detail removed by Moderator). I was so honoured they said some lovley things as to why they choose me. So i thought this would be a good start to tell husband about job too. So i told him about the interview first he rolled his eyes said you are not going to do that you will look a idiot. I told him I was doing the interview and he just ignored me and wont talk about it anymore. My guess is he will make it impossible for me to attend so i didnt tell him about the job one fight at a time i think. Thank you for all your support cant tell you how much it means x
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