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    • #130866
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Omg omg and breeth.
      (Detail removed by moderator) I was offered a job (detail removed by moderator) but they said I am good and well liked and would love me on board. Its just(detail removed by moderator) but OMG its a start to independance its a start to a life. Ok at some point i will have to tell him and listen to the nasty comments he will do all he can to stop me but I WANT THIS and im gonna take it. Am scared but Oh my I feel good today i feel useful needed and good at something.
      I will face the c**p tomorrow today I smile x

    • #130869
      KIP.
      Participant

      🥳👏well done you! It’s typical for an abuser to resent our success. To stunt our growth so please don’t let him, power to you 💪

    • #130873
      Eggshells
      Participant

      🥳👍😘 Well done you. I’m so pleased for you. Ofcourse they snapped you up! lucky them to have you on board.

      If he gives you grief come back on the forum and soak up the joy we have for you, you amazing lady. xx

    • #130875
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      Congratulations, a new job and the start of you starting to get your life back. Baby steps. Well done!!

    • #130877
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi nbumblebee , it’s obvious we don’t know each other but your good news today must have made you feel amazing. You deserve something good in your life. It’s good you are saying you are smiling today . Hold on to that smile . Best wishes Stargazing x

    • #130878
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      Ah what brilliant news!! 👏
      Big congratulations to you, as Eggshells said they are indeed lucky to have you. Really well done, this is the beginning of big positive things for you, and we are all here to celebrate with you 😀😊🙌

    • #130880
      iliketea
      Participant

      Great news!! Well done! 👏 exciting new beginnings on their way. So happy for you. Xx

    • #130897
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      You lot have made me cry thank you so much.
      Its ojr anniversary today tough day im gonna keep reading your messages over and over today to get me through it. Hugs to you all you amazing ladies hou x

    • #130898
      soxy
      Participant

      Congratulations!!! That’s such lovely news and you can do this, they have already seen your potential :-D! It will be so good for you and give you the boost you deserve and need. All the best x

    • #130901
      Eyesopening
      Participant

      Well done you nbumblebee, you can do great things.
      I got my current job at the start of the time I was starting to think he was abusive. He didn’t really acknowledge it when I told him. But I didn’t care, it was mine and I did it, even when his friends told me to give up.
      This job has been so good for me and has built up my confidence which I think was a big factor in gaining back my strength and allowing me to walk away from the relationship.
      Savor your success, it’s yours and you made it happen, no one else x*x

      • #130935
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        @eyesopening I am hoping this will give me the confidence boost and financial backing to move on with my life MY LIFE just gotta hope and pray he doesnt stop me. Where do you find that strength?

      • #130967
        Eyesopening
        Participant

        Hey nbumblebee, I had to think about this. I think we all have the strength, it’s all inside us. But we all need to take a journey to get to that place of strength. It’s like the change curve, we all go through it, and it takes time, but the most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself, never criticize yourself, you are human and are only responding to your situation like any other person would. I spent all my free time on this forum, listening to youtube videos and books. Knowledge really is power and the more you understand, the easier it is to build up that barrier and gain strength.
        Then of course support is the most important thing. We can’t do it alone, we need support here, we need outreach workers, we need GP’s, and friends and family and coworkers. We need to build a life that is ours, a life that will support us just fine without the abuser.
        Well done you again, stay strong you can do this 🙂 xxxx

      • #130993
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        Thank you I guess thats my thing I dont have any support apart from you guys this fight is mine alone and some days thats tough its really tough.
        I gotta do this I really have I just hope and pray the fall out isnt too much that he doesnt make it impossible for me to work. Only time will tell I guess. Thank you again your words always give me hope and hold me up. Take care x

    • #130908
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      That’s great news @nbumblebee, this goes to show that you DO have the power within you to make changes to your life, changes for the better. When you tell him your good news remember this…

      A healthy relationship partner will:

      Be delighted for you
      Congratulate you
      Celebrate with you
      Wish you good luck
      Tell you he knew all along you’d get the job because you are so awesome

      An abuser will:
      Be gutted (because it doesn’t suit him)
      Ask why on earth you’d want to do that
      Tell you you’re stupid for even thinking you’ll be any good at it
      Discourage you from taking it
      Tell you the pay is rubbish, the job is rubbish, you don’t need to work as he earns enough
      Put a downer on your joy
      Go in a sulk/mood/silent treatment
      Threats or physical harm if you accept it
      Try and make you late for it when you start to sabotage it

      I hope you have a good day x

      • #130927
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        @wantstohelp as always you are so right. Now the happiness has cleared im not worried sick about telling him he will go mad and will take it alla way I know he will. This time i gotta stand my ground I am not looking foward to the fallout. Thats not right x*x

    • #130929
      ISOPeace
      Participant

      That’s wonderful nbumblebee! I know it’s scary too, but you’re doing it with your eye open. You’re not kidding yourself that he’ll be supportive. This is a massively courageous thing to do. Don’t underestimate how much strength this has taken and like Eyesopening said, you made it happen. I am so happy for you. Well done you!

      When you do tell him, remember that whatever you say won’t make him think it’s ok if he has a problem with it. Try not to get sucked into arguing your case and defending yourself. In my experience, the harder I tried to get him to see my side of things, the worse I felt afterwards. You can tell him about it and not back down without getting sucked into trying to persuade him to see your point of view. Xxxx

      • #130934
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        @isopeace I just wish with all my heart he would say well done I really do. He wont i know that im gonna hold off telling him for as long as i can makes me sad that i cant share this with him.

    • #130936
      KIP.
      Participant

      They can’t stand that we are bettering ourselves. Abusers are all about dragging and keeping us down. You will never reach your potential with an abuser x

    • #130945
      Secretlife
      Participant

      This is fantastic news! I am so pleased for you. I speak from experience, it will do you the world of good and make such a difference to how you feel about yourself. Huge WELL DONE! I feel all the ladies on here are cheering for you! X*x

      • #130949
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        Thank you so much am still buzzing until I have to tell him. The support and love on here is just so incredable i cant believe so many can ne so kind so thoughtful whilst going through so much pain themselves. Im very lucky to have found this forum and you guys very lucky x

    • #131009
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Well done nmbumblebee 🥳, don’t let him ruin this for you, It’s the start of new and hopefully better things for you, x x x

    • #131011
      True2myself
      Participant

      Congratulations 🎊 x

    • #131019
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      A little update not sure how much of this will be removed but i hope you understand it.
      Ive been asked to be interviwed (detail removed by Moderator) about my role in helping others throughout covid (detail removed by Moderator). I was so honoured they said some lovley things as to why they choose me. So i thought this would be a good start to tell husband about job too. So i told him about the interview first he rolled his eyes said you are not going to do that you will look a idiot. I told him I was doing the interview and he just ignored me and wont talk about it anymore. My guess is he will make it impossible for me to attend so i didnt tell him about the job one fight at a time i think. Thank you for all your support cant tell you how much it means x

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