3rd May 2020 at 10:15 pm #102404SunshineRainflowerParticipant
So I keep seeing this idea that the govt might tell us we can socialise with 10 chosen people moving forward.
I absolutely hate this idea because it highlights the difficulties I’ve been going through for several years:
1. I’m single and live alone apart from my brilliant cat so have no partner to spend time with. I’m single partly because I’ve been too scared to date for years after my ex. I would actually like to start dating soon but now I can’t.
2. Before lockdown I was setting boundaries with my family. The last thing I want is more time with them. I was trying to build a life away from them to move forward.
3. I don’t have many good friends. A lot were narcs so I had to either go no or low contact. A few are nice but they don’t live locally and they’re married with kids so usually busy.
4. Most of my pre lockdown social time came from my volunteer job and my lovely craft group. The craft group ladies were all much older so I may never see any of them again. My volunteer job closed although I think it might open up soon, I really hope so.
So basically, if the govt do this bubble idea, I’ll still just be alone all the time apart from my cat who is my lifeline. It will remove my opportunities of making new friends and dating. It only works for people who are happy with their current friends and family situation. What about people who are trying to build new lives?
Honestly I’m so done with this lockdown. Done with the smug self righteous well paid work from home lot who have rich husbands, nice houses and gardens. Done with the faux happy clappy nonsense. Lockdown sucks for so many people who’ve had their lives destroyed but we’re not allowed to talk about that. Women stuck with abusers, addicts with no support, people with mental health probs who live alone left with no support and expected to just not complain. Ugh I hate it all. Its like a surreal nightmare where common sense has gone out the window. Everyone happy to give away our rights with no care for the massive suffering this is causing.
3rd May 2020 at 10:43 pm #102406IwantmebackParticipant
Hear hear. And fir those of us trying to keep away, having this ‘bubble’ is like a death sentence, but it’s fir the greater good and all that…. it’s so true, nothing is ever black and white.
8th May 2020 at 7:29 am #102729LivinginhopeParticipant
Im so sorry to hear about how isolated you are. So many people are suffering for various different reasons with this lockdown, with no clear exit ahead and without the usual outlets that might help and support us to get through a difficult time. I do hope that your volunteer work soon provides you with some opportunities as you hope.i understand how frustrating it feels to be at a certain point in your recovery journey and for that to feel like it has been put on hold indefinitely and/or a feeling that you are back living with some of the experiences from the past. Please keep in touch with everyone on here, there is so much encouragement and support. Take care.
8th May 2020 at 7:54 am #102730KIP.Participant
Hey, I know how you feel but this situation is changing all the time. I doubt I could fill the list with 10 people I want to socialise with but I can tell you one who won’t be on the list lol. Try to remember your situation is temporary, there will be plenty time in future to rebuild a nice new group of friends that you actually want to spend time with. People who have your best interests at heart. In the meantime try to take a step back and enjoy the time you have to spend with your 🐈 cat. Once your back to volunteering and getting out and about this time will be precious. Take some nice pics as a reminder of the time when you got to spend quality time with her/him. I’m trying to see the positives. Even in this situation x
8th May 2020 at 12:32 pm #102744EscapeeParticipant
I completely understand where you are coming from. From a recovery angle this lockdown is awful.
And the bubble idea, while ok for small close knit groups, for those of us with family and friends spread out with little interconnection, the chances are there will be many of us that are left on the outside.
I will admit that I have gone from being really positive about the isolation, to being immensely unhelpful to myself (I became entangled with my ex partner again), to being at a place of resignation and trying to find the positives again.
You will get to do your volunteering again, and if the older ladies are anything like my friends you will definitely see them again (they are tough, resilient and quite rebellious!). I don’t know how old you are but I can honestly say that in my head I’m still in my twenties…..age can be somewhat irrelevant and though we have sadly lost many older people to this virus, many have kicked it’s backside too.
Just remember ‘This too shall pass’.
8th May 2020 at 3:36 pm #102753Eve1Participant
I like this thread. I think it didn’t help that I’ve felt ill (still ill actually), but all those adverts of families connecting via social media start to jar after a while. I think that’s not the real world for many people. I definitely haven’t got 10 people I could choose to socialise with. Since losing my Mum I really only have my children that I’m happy around.
It’s a hard for us to ever have’normal’ lives after abuse isn’t it? Let’s hope soon we can start to get back repairing and healing in whatever way we need to.
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