I have been refused services and told I am not under domestic

[Hopeful1]

I am so disstressed and bewildered right now. I have been refused help with accessing refuge by (detail removed by Moderator) because they say I have rung them too many times and each time dont go to refuge and dont get a non molestation order and dont phone the police. I have been in refuge and cant get rid of my perpetrator. (detail removed by Moderator). They are saying I am not under domestic abuse. I feel so damaged right now by what they have said. I have no one to reach out to. I feel so alone and with no support services out there for me.

[Lisa]

Hello Hopeful1,

Thank you for your post and for sharing how you’re feeling with us. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling let down by the support services you’ve spoken to, it must be an isolating and disappointing experience.

It can be triggering for your feelings and experience to be dismissed or minimised in this way and it’s understandable that this has had such an impact.

Do bare in mind that you can speak to a support worker on the Live Chat if helpful. You can find more about the chat here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Hopeful1]

Thank you Lisa, for your reply and for all your support.

I feel absolutely devastated that they told me I am not under domestic abuse, that I have rung too many times and cant ring again. I feel completely alone, far more vulnerable, unsafe, uncared for, completely dismissed, not believed, triggered like you wouldnt believe, frightened, insecure, isolated. To be dismissed and not believed by the very people who I am meant to be able to reach out to is absolutely devastating. If I am not under domestic abuse, how come they themselves have arranged refuge for me so that I could flee that very same perpetrator in the past and I spent over a year in that refuge… so how can they say I refuse refuge? …but I am under domestic abuse again from the same perpatrator, and its now four years on from when I left the refuge! Yes, they gave me numbers for refuges a week ago, but women are not always ready to actually go right then… its really scary having to go into a refuge and leaving home and we need all the support we can get, not have it refused.

[Author]

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