I m completely broken

[just breathing]

He has kicked off again (detail removed by moderator) telling kids lies, manipulating and putting me down and I am just beside myself. One of the kids said (detail removed by moderator) because he was going mental. So she has gone, other kid (detail removed by moderator) after he has gone off. he tells them lies and says I am mental because i let him upset me. He is back and forth demanding they go and then acting victim and saying will drive off (detail removed by moderator).
Just feel like nothing and kids believe him.
I am just broken

 

[diymum@1]

these men use emotional blackmail with the kids its heart breaking and ive been there with my girls. its all about keeping control off everyone – wanting you and the kids to plead with him please dont leave us. calling you crazy for putting up with him. wow the audacity really. but my ex was the same. are you in touch with womens aid – tbh the only way this will change is the get him out the house – prohibited steps order? this isnt your fault all his doing and you and the kids left feeling vulnerable all for him to be in control? stay strong you can get out off this xx much love diymum

[KIP.]

Are you in touch with your local women’s aid?

[DamagedGoods]

Oh my dear, all I can say is, please, please get out. The life you are leading right now is merely an existence. He doesn’t care about you or any of the kids. You’re all just feeding his insecure need to have control and to make everyone just as p****d off andiserable as he is. Toxic. Poisonous.

So you have a mum, a sister, a cousin, a friend…anyone you can rely on? My sister saved me, even after years of not having any contact with her…she just KNEW what was going on. There ARE people who really care..you just need to be honest and to ask. Oh you so deserve to smile and be happy. Think hard. And if you’re really stuck the Women’s Aid folk will find you a safe peaceful place to get yourself back again.

[just breathing]

Just on here. Ashamed to say spoke to them a few years ago but felt had to stay to try to maintain best case, feel very weak and like I have already lost kids (who are my world as I don’t have many friends due to not going out much), so feel if i leave he will be even worse badmouthing me and telling lies.

[just breathing]

Thank you – all of your kind words leaves me hope that it isn’t me or what I deserve and that I am not alone in his behaviours – albeit it is awful for anyone to sustain this levewl of vindictiveness.

Thank you.

[KIP.]

Please don’t be ashamed. Trauma does terrible things to our minds and we just don’t think straight. Please re engage with women’s aid and take all the help offered. It’s never too late to get yourself safe and strong. Mind and body. To take control and get a safe place for you and your kids where his influence won’t be as strong. Like you I stayed. I had no idea about domestic abuse or that I was being abused. It just got worse until my mental health was destroyed and he ruled the roost. Not any longer though. I got him out using the police then kicked his a*s using the courts. It’s taken me several years but I don’t recognise the victim I was. You do have the strength to get through this one small step at a time. Start with women’s aid. They will understand and re engage x

[just breathing]

Thank youthat means a lot, he has been saying to kids all sorts and that he and they will go to court and say it all about me and I will have nothing.
He tells me allsorts will come out in court so I am afraid. he makes me and kids think it is all my fault as he should be able to say and do what he wants how he wants (whcih he does). I don’t see myself as a victim but a go to for all his and kids anger.
Feeling like nothing but knowing I need to be something.

[Author]

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