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    • #104670
      Imagine
      Participant

      I’ve just joined so hi! I’ve been reading the different posts for a while now and decided it’s time to ask if my situation sounds like emotional abuse. So…..been married for (detail removed by moderator) and we have a business with (detail removed by moderator) which also involves the public and volunteers. My OH continually puts me down in front of the public and also the volunteers. He’s reduced me to tears many times although never in front of him. He speaks sharply, treats me like a naughty child, says unkind things to me often in front of people. Then says it was a joke or just laughs or rolls his eyes. He’ll look away from me if he doesn’t want to hear what I’m saying or he just walks away. I have a long term health condition and so I haven’t sometimes been able to move quick enough for him. He either says get out of the way or ridicules me in front of people. I’ve now moved back from the work as it’s got much harder for me to do and so the pressure has eased a bit. But during lockdown I’ve basically done my walking on eggshells bit as I’d rather not say anything and risk him being unpleasant. I’m immune suppressed so on the government vulnerable list but when I said to him about social distancing he said that he didn’t care which means I feel that he doesn’t care about me being high risk. He’s never liked me seeing friends always has a comment to make. He stopped me seeing my daughter from my previous marriage by making it really difficult and saying unpleasant things. To my shame I didn’t put up a fight much as I felt so ……actually I don’t know what word to use there. I have now worked very hard to regain the relationship with her and it’s very precious. Ok I think I’ll stop for now although there’s more but I can’t write anymore tonight. Thanks for reading

       

       

    • #104731
      Chestnut
      Participant

      Hello Imagine, I just wanted to reply as I know it takes a lot of build up and worry sometimes before posting anything, so well done for doing it. I am not very experienced on here as only posted the first time a couple of weeks ago but it sounds a really upsetting situation and not right. It sounds like you have changed your behaviour a lot to placate your partner and I don’t think anyone should stop you from seeing your daughter, that just sounds cruel. Do you have much support? I am guessing if immune compromised you are more isolated than normal. Hopefully this post will push you up a bit on the list as the others here always seem to have some great advice. The booklist on here I found really useful and knowing that it wasn’t me going mad really boosted the confidence it may help a little. But just wanted you to know your post has been seen and read and sending you a hug x

    • #104735
      Chestnut
      Participant

      Also just to help I don’t know all the terminology but I can see some clear red flags, isolation from your daughter/friends,belittling, making you feel the need to walk on eggshells, masking things as a joke, making you doubt yourself

    • #107661
      Camel
      Participant

      Hi Imagine

      I just wanted to send a little message to let you know that you have lots of women here who are always happy to listen. Hope you’re OK x

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