I need strength 😭

[Getmylifeback]

Estate agents confirmed move day where i get my keys for monday.

He rang me from rehab today …2 hour phone call full of promises to change, made me promise i wont leave him or look to move out. Sobbing and desperate.
Says most people in reha are from broken homes and itll ruin kids lives

God im so torn. I feel sick, cant eat, cant sleep.

[KIP.]

He cares nothing for you. It’s all about him and using the children to emotionally blackmail you. I can tell you it’s much better to come from a broken home than an abusive one. He probably senses your change in mood and is desperately trying to regain control.if it wasn’t for his behaviour you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in. Get yourself and your children safe and secure. He is not your responsibility. There’s so much evidence now of the damage done by abusers to their children that holds back their development and haunts them mentally later in life so keep going. You’re doing the right thing. Keep going x

[Getmylifeback]

I keep telling myself that, ive even ordered bits for kids new rooms.

Im so scared of making wrong decision and wrecking lives.

He can sense my negativity, wgen i talk to him i feel anxious and irritable. Felt sick all afternoon knowing his call was coming 😳😭

[fizzylem]

You and the children are not the prize. His prize for recovering is that he becomes well. This will take years, not weeks or even months.

While he still thinks there is a chance with you, his motivation for doing this is to get back with you only; if he were to get this, it means his motivation for doing it will be gone – and back he will go to his old ways.

His motivation needs to be because he wants to do it for himself – only when it is will he start to recover. He may get worse before he gets here.

He needs to realise that his behaviour casued this, that he blew it with you and lost his family.

You are not helping him while you continue to feel responsible and think you can help by giving him what he wants. As sad as it is, you need to recognise you are not the one to help him here anymore. You can only help him now by walking away – as this is what he needs.

You are also experiencing loss, saddness, pain, you dont want to feel this way, so think on some level that if you agree to be with him this will stop these feelings. Its not the answer, it will only continue and cause more hurt and pain if you are together.

You can do this, draw a line, decide it’s over, and take the time you need to mourn the loss; take charge of your life and focus your energies on you and the children now x

[Fluctuating]

Hey,

Short answer: I’ve worked with children for YEARS and can 100% confirm that children are happier with separated, happy parents than with parents who stayed together unhappily. Cannot stress this more. Carry that info with you and use it whenever you need to.

Love.

[AlwaysSorry]

Hi there,

I just wanted to echo what has been said. I come from one of these “broken homes” and I wish I could go back and as a young child tell my mother it would be okay to leave my father, that she shouldn’t stay with an alcoholic husband “for the kids”.

Please remember the promise he forced you to make is not a valid one – because he forced it out of you. We can never be held accountable for such promises when they are being dragged out of us via use of emotional blackmail. I can just imagine how you only agreed to promise to just get him to stop with his pestering, but that doesn’t mean he gets to hold you to that promise.

Don’t feel guilty either. You’re a mum, you’re being a great mum trying to get your children away from this situation. You’re not wrecking lives, you’re making them better.

[Author]

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