when my husband suspected i’d started seeing someone else (months after our relationship had ended) his need to have me back suddenly quadrupled… they just don’t want us to be with anyone, abuse is about control and control is about achieving ownership. they don’t want anyone else to ‘have’ us.
on the flip side though he moved in with his new girlfriend pretty much as soon as i filed for divorce, which was pretty much as soon as i’d kicked him out – but he still went through every channel possible to contest it. he still wanted to ‘own’ me even though he was with someone new.
trying to understand his thoughts & actions is something i’ve finally just learnt to let go of.