I think he’s having a collapse moment

[Overcome]

I thought the abuser in my life was working away for longer than anticipated, but he’s back and from the moment I walked in the house with the children he was seething. Trying to start arguments, being passive aggressive, using guilt. He just kept storming downstairs and then having a jab at me and going back up. I told him what he was doing was abusive and he lost it! Shouting and swearing at me he looked possessed, he used all of the manipulative tactics in the book to break me down, then walked out.

My poor children were in the room when this happened and were so upset, they keep begging him not to shout. He feels more unstable than before and I don’t recognise him at all he says the most vile things to me infront of the children. I am not hiding his abuse anymore, I have made a case against him at VS and as soon as I give the go ahead they are going to forward it on to the police.

I spent most of the night in tears, but I really needed that, I think I have been distancing myself from what’s been happening to cope but yesterday brought me right back down to earth.

I want to talk to him about leaving the family home but he will not even acknowledge my presence. How am I meant to sort out anything when he behaves like this? I feel like calling his father and showing him recordings and messages I have saved of his rages, as at the moment he is in the middle of a smear campaign, but that would make me just as bad wouldn’t it?

Argh! What to do!

[KIP.]

Don’t discuss anything with him. This abuse in front of your children is child abuse. Get VS involved and also the police. Things are escalating and violence will follow. It’s a pattern. Please leave with the children before they are forced to witness even more horrifying abuse that will stay with them for life. Follow the advice of VS and WA. They know this scenario inside out.

[Overcome]

Thank you KIP, I do feel like it’s getting worse. I have called his dad to speak to him and am taking the children away from the house (detail removed by moderator). Then he will be gone again and I can pack my stuff and get out. I have an appointment to see my case worker on (detail removed by moderator) to discuss my options RE housing.

For the first time ever I actually feel scared of him.. I know we can’t stay here any more.

With love,

Overcome x

[Author]

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