Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #10796
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      Because at times I am terrified of it happening. I don’t know why the idea scares me I thought I was dealing with the whole thing a lot better than I am clearly.

    • #10853
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hey Hun

      NO u don’t need to bump in to him, if u bump into him now , yes u’d face your fear but r you strong enough to stay away from him and not talk to him, maybe this is a sign or blessing that his not come infront of u yet, give u more time to get more stronger . All u get is more pain by seeing them , irritation of triggers set off

    • #10857
      newlife2015
      Participant

      I find everytime I bump into my ex it unsettles me and delays my recovery – the best advice I would have would be to stay away (as much as you can!). They have a manipulative way of making you feel that they are not as bad as you remember or somehow making you feel guilty or like ou did something wrong – better off as far away as possible in my honest opinion but I sometimes feel exactly the same as you – I think much of it is because we lived in such a stressful situation over long periods of time and when life becomes quieter and normal we miss the day to day drama and feel that something is somehow missing!

    • #10876
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      The last day I saw him was court. I don’t want to bump into him but I think it is inevitable and I would rather it was over and done with so I can stop worrying.

    • #10880
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hopesprings, I went through exactly the same thing. Remember when we were in the cycle of abuse, walking on eggshells, waiting on the explosion. That’s what it feels like. If you just get it over with the anxiety and fear will stop. I managed to stay away. That feeling will pass. Abusers want us to get close enough to them again so that they can slap us. Your mind is still in sync with the abuse. Seeing him again won’t make it better. It will open old wounds and leave you vulnerable. Not to mention giving him the power back. Stay strong. This phase will pass❤️

    • #10893
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      I don’t think I am explaining what I mean properly. He doesn’t live far from me and I the city I live in is quite small. It’s likely we will bump into one another at some point. I just kind of want it over with.

    • #10895
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      I don’t want it to happen. I don’t want to have any sort of exchange with him- I don’t think he’s bothered enough with me to break the harassment order anyway. But I just think I will see him at some point and if I do it will get rid of the fear of it happening. I wish to everything that I never have to see him again and maybe I won’t. I just want to stop feeling paranoid about it

      • #10974
        Purple
        Participant

        Hi its a horrible feeling isn’t it. Like you the last time I was actually in the same room as him was in court. I was put in a side room and he was making threatening gestures through the glass. My ex lives (detail removed by moderator) which i have to pass through to get to work everyday. I have once passed him in the car and although i could feel him looking at me i just looked straight ahead and pretended not to see him. Im really scared of me or the kids running into him. I know it will happen eventually. Xx

    • #10931
      White Rose
      Participant

      You may just happen to bump into him purely by chance. He’s just another person in your town. You’re not forced to acknowledge him in any way and you shouldn’t if it does happen.
      When it does happen it will rock you like an earthquake!
      If he engineers contact report him. If it’s accidental then keep calm head held high don’t engage.
      Be strong xx

    • #10942
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      That’s exactly what I mean White Rose. I will do all those things if and when it does happen. Thank you xx

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