Hi Ariel, not sure what to advise. Im reading very conflicting feelings. Not because you are crazy, but ill be honest, you are keeping yourself in another maybe not abusive but definitely toxic relationship. This wont change until you take a step back and work on yourself away from him. You cant do that next to him. As harsh as it sounds, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with no trust. When its gone, it will never come back to what it used to be. You are not crazy. Dont think that for asecond but you do need time to be on your own and deal with your past 1st. I might be wrong but to me it sounds like you haven’t done that yet. Keep posting and hopefully someone can give you much better advise x*x