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I think that there has been some sexual coercion within my marriage. My husband makes regular comments and they’re always along the lines of:
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The last one hurts the most tbh because the ‘old me’ he’s referring to is the me from before I started to realise the pattern in these comments and other behaviours. He wants the old me who didn’t realise that he was saying things that were wrong.
When he says things like this it does make me feel like I have to have sex even when I don’t want to. I’m his wife so I should be having sex with him…. even though he’s made comments to make me feel unattractive to him and has recently alluded that I’m not his type physically.
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Hello Relearningme,
It does sound like intimacy within the relationship is very much on your partners terms and that you are made to feel guilty or hurt by him for withdrawing from intimacy in the relationship. This could certainly be considered sexually coercive.
It’s very understandable that you do not feel inclined to sleep with someone once you’ve recognised abusive and controlling behaviour from them.
It’s really important for many people to feel safe, trust and respect from the person they share intimacy with, and it’s absolutely okay to have boundaries around this.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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